Walmart’s Coked-Up Santa Sweater (feat. Megan Gailey) – Lights Out with David Spade

Walmart’s Coked-Up Santa Sweater (feat. Megan Gailey) – Lights Out with David Spade


Walmart apologized–
you know Walmart– they apologized for an ugly
Christmas sweater that shows Santa Claus, uh, with three
lines of cola on the table. (gasping, laughter) Isn’t that crazy?
I love it. (cheering and applause) I love it.
I-I, like, honestly love this. I just feel like Walmart
kind of missed their demo. -They’re more like Meth Santa.
-Yeah. Absolutely right. -Maybe, like, Tussin
in the Corner Santa. -Yeah. -“Tussin.” -There should be
a lightbulb and a torch. -That’s really… -Yeah, I-I
don’t have a problem with it. I feel like it is their demo. I feel like there–
it’s their demo. Also, also,
Santa’s very cocaine. I feel like the idea of Santa
was evolved with dudes doing cocaine.
Like, he was like… (sniffs) “Dude,
just hear me out here, man. “It’s a big fat guy.
He goes to all the houses, drops off gifts.”
“To everybody?” “Except the Jews.
Just hear me out.” One night. (cheering and applause) Who’s not getting this sweater? And, by the way,
they always say, like, it’s, like, a third party. They try to claim
they didn’t know about it. -It’s good marketing, man.
-I love it. -I’d buy– I’d buy the heck out
of that thing. -I like they s– they spared no expense
on drawing Santa Claus. -Yeah.
-(laughing) It all went into the lines. They said,
“What if we got someone, uh, -“who has serious
mental problems, -Yeah. “gave him some cocaine and said, ‘Hey, draw us a Santa sweater.'” “That’s your Santa.
That’s close enough. We got to run with it.” I also think think that if– when Santa,
if he gets too, like, gacked out on the talk chalk,
you know, he goes and I feel like
Santa is up till July and then he hasn’t gone to bed
yet. And he’s like, “I’m just gonna
push through to New Year’s. “You know what, I’m all gacked
up from last Christmas, “and I’m just gonna go through and just chatterbox it
the whole way.” Yeah. He’s gonna be,
like, telling guys he’s gonna work out. My mall
Santa was gacked out once. My mall Santa
was going on and on. I’m like,
“Dude, this is where I talk. You’re, like, the therapist.” He didn’t get it. KFC is, uh, selling a fire log that will make your house
smell like fried chicken. (laughter) -Finally.
-Megan, you smell like chicken
a little bit. What’s going on with, uh–
A little bit! It’s pre-wedding chicken scent. -Yes. It’s very nice.
-That’s the tanning. Uh, I truly– I want this so badly,
but I’m from Indiana, so of course I want my house
to smell like a KFC. This is, like–
I just hope it comes with, -like, a ranch candle. Like…
-Yeah. Just dip me in all of this and just invite all of your
white trash cousins to my house. -I can’t wait.
-It’s fun. -Yeah. Again,
this is key for their demo. I think
everyone’s gonna love it. Also, you can…
you can burn this. Your house will smell
like fried chicken. Then they have Taco Bell–
what was it– -Nachos Supreme wrapping?
-Yeah. So, some fat kid’s gonna
open his gift, think it’s a Nachos Supreme,
like, “Goddamn it!” At least it smells
like fried chicken, -but actually not.
-SPADE: Yeah. Yeah. Amazed. This whole house is a lie. Is that me? Is that me? -Yeah, there you go.
-It gives you… -Oh, this is the Taco Bell one?
-Yeah. The, uh… the Taco Bell one
is, uh, same thing. This smells like-like, you know, -a Crunchwrap Supreme or
something. -GAILEY: Yes. Yes. I like that they went… they
have the different toppings, but then, the cheese one is just
yellow wrapping paper. SPADE:
Yeah, that’s actually… The KFC one did give somebody’s
fireplace diarrhea, -and that was not the plan.
-That makes sense. But… That was the real fire log. -Yeah?
-SPADE: This is great. Yeah. If you get your girlfriend
lingerie, she’s like, “Oh, it’s great. Smells like
a (bleep) Enchirito.” -(laughter) -You’re like,
“That’s on purpose. Yeah, that’s Taco Bell.” Plus, people who’d want
their house to smell like KFC probably can’t afford
fireplaces. I mean, that’s… (laughter,
applause and cheering) Rude, but possibly true, yeah. -Rude. Rude.
-Yeah. -There’s… There’s gonna be
some burned-down trailers that smell fantastic.

100 Replies to “Walmart’s Coked-Up Santa Sweater (feat. Megan Gailey) – Lights Out with David Spade”

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  2. Schaub must have major dirt on Spade to be back on the show. That or his agent is blowing everyone to get him spots. Dude is awful.

  3. That chicks fukn hot is fuck her brains out lolllln she's funny af she looks like she could tale a dick. Super bad lollllll

  4. Brenden Shaub needs to stay on Rogan's podcasts. He's a tool, not a comedian. Stop trying to make people something they're not.

  5. Hilarious how they all fake laugh at Shaub to make him feel somewhat involved. Like letting your little brother dribble the basketball for a second 🤣

  6. I don't give a fuck about Brendan but it is weird to see all the people jump on the hate wagon trying to fit in and be cool.

  7. Theres a warm front that goes up to New York right now during the winter and folks cant help but light fires just to FEEL traditionally inept with the gayness of a 18th century Englishmen. Your F$&@ing WEAK, PUT ON A JACKET.

  8. David.. why is Brendan on here? Seriously.. all jokes aside, he literally doesn't even understand how to formulate a joke

  9. I think Spade and Whitney should should get Brendan on that bit where they feed him jokes through the earpiece. Dude has somehow gotten less funny as he goes along.

  10. Taco Bell isamazing the greatest collaboration is KFC and taco Bell together I would love to have my apartment that has no fireplace because it's an crackhead it free
    that's like saying hey let's put a fireplace in Los Angeles cuz it gets cold there ahahaha hahahaha

  11. Brendan fucks this up because he brings up the Taco Bell wrapping paper before David Spade has introduced the topic. This shows the audience that the guests have previously been shown the clips and given time to come up with something funny about them. Way to fuck up the continuity and still not bring the laughs

  12. Schaub seriously did not know that Demo meant Demographic, watch he is insinuating that he takes demo and demonstration….How stupid is that guy?

  13. Brendan schaub thinks that people don’t like him because he’s successful but in reality, people don’t like him because he’s a douchebag asshole who isn’t as funny as he believes he is. People also hate him because:

    1.) he spat on and threw a college roommate through a glass door because the roommate stood up for himself.

    2.) gets most of his fight predictions wrong and backpedals immediately after.

    3.) thinks homeless people are insignificant and aren’t worth the energy or worth mattering.

    4.) thinks he’s better than most veteran standup comics and even goes as far as to give them advice on comedy. Just because he was gifted a showtime special he got due to Joe Rogans connections he feels he’s that good where he can start giving out advice to veteran comics.

    5.) after the review and metrics showed that schaub’s showtime special was hated by everyone, he had a business partner use one of their companies to bribe its customers with 50% off their next purchase if they left a positive review on his special just to artificially boost the numbers up. They tried and failed because it really is that bad of a comedy special.

    6.) always undermines and belittled Bryan Callen for no reason.

    7.) anytime you post a comment on his social media that isn’t 100% positive or in favor of schaub, it doesn’t even have to be negative, he will proceed to block without provocation.

    8.) claims he never reads the comments of ‘’basement dwelling losers’’, and the comments and opinions do not matter, yet uses every chance he gets to mention basement dwelling losers and the haters and how it doesn’t bother him.

    9.) lies about how his comments are genuinely 90% positive comments, but ignores to mention that part of the reason why that is is because he has his team delete the comments.

    10.) stopped doing open mics because he felt the comics that were in the growl weren’t Laughing at his jokes and he felt they were haters and hating on him because of that

  14. WTF?
    Logs that smell like fried chicken.
    This whole trend of white people embracing black culture has gone way off the rails…

  15. They clearly wanted the comedian from TFATK, and somehow Schaub turned up and they were too scared to tell an overgrown teenage girl with learning difficulties and cauliflower ears to go home.

  16. Wth that guy on the right is awful. Can’t you get some real comedians on the show? He tries so hard but the fake laughs don’t help at all. Btw it’s so nice they put laugh tracks for that dude cuz he’s unwatchable

  17. I literally started doing something else when the guy on the right started talking. I feel like people definitely changed channels when he came on. Please stop having him on, I don't want the show to get cancelled, but having him on is how you definitely get to that ending.

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