you know Walmart– they apologized for an ugly
Christmas sweater that shows Santa Claus, uh, with three
lines of cola on the table. (gasping, laughter) Isn’t that crazy?
I love it. (cheering and applause) I love it.
I-I, like, honestly love this. I just feel like Walmart
kind of missed their demo. -They’re more like Meth Santa.
-Yeah. Absolutely right. -Maybe, like, Tussin
in the Corner Santa. -Yeah. -“Tussin.” -There should be
a lightbulb and a torch. -That’s really… -Yeah, I-I
don’t have a problem with it. I feel like it is their demo. I feel like there–
it’s their demo. Also, also,
Santa’s very cocaine. I feel like the idea of Santa
was evolved with dudes doing cocaine.
Like, he was like… (sniffs) “Dude,
just hear me out here, man. “It’s a big fat guy.
He goes to all the houses, drops off gifts.”
“To everybody?” “Except the Jews.
Just hear me out.” One night. (cheering and applause) Who’s not getting this sweater? And, by the way,
they always say, like, it’s, like, a third party. They try to claim
they didn’t know about it. -It’s good marketing, man.
-I love it. -I’d buy– I’d buy the heck out
of that thing. -I like they s– they spared no expense
on drawing Santa Claus. -Yeah.
-(laughing) It all went into the lines. They said,
“What if we got someone, uh, -“who has serious
mental problems, -Yeah. “gave him some cocaine and said, ‘Hey, draw us a Santa sweater.'” “That’s your Santa.
That’s close enough. We got to run with it.” I also think think that if– when Santa,
if he gets too, like, gacked out on the talk chalk,
you know, he goes and I feel like
Santa is up till July and then he hasn’t gone to bed
yet. And he’s like, “I’m just gonna
push through to New Year’s. “You know what, I’m all gacked
up from last Christmas, “and I’m just gonna go through and just chatterbox it
the whole way.” Yeah. He’s gonna be,
like, telling guys he’s gonna work out. My mall
Santa was gacked out once. My mall Santa
was going on and on. I’m like,
“Dude, this is where I talk. You’re, like, the therapist.” He didn’t get it. KFC is, uh, selling a fire log that will make your house
smell like fried chicken. (laughter) -Finally.
-Megan, you smell like chicken
a little bit. What’s going on with, uh–
A little bit! It’s pre-wedding chicken scent. -Yes. It’s very nice.
-That’s the tanning. Uh, I truly– I want this so badly,
but I’m from Indiana, so of course I want my house
to smell like a KFC. This is, like–
I just hope it comes with, -like, a ranch candle. Like…
-Yeah. Just dip me in all of this and just invite all of your
white trash cousins to my house. -I can’t wait.
-It’s fun. -Yeah. Again,
this is key for their demo. I think
everyone’s gonna love it. Also, you can…
you can burn this. Your house will smell
like fried chicken. Then they have Taco Bell–
what was it– -Nachos Supreme wrapping?
-Yeah. So, some fat kid’s gonna
open his gift, think it’s a Nachos Supreme,
like, “Goddamn it!” At least it smells
like fried chicken, -but actually not.
-SPADE: Yeah. Yeah. Amazed. This whole house is a lie. Is that me? Is that me? -Yeah, there you go.
-It gives you… -Oh, this is the Taco Bell one?
-Yeah. The, uh… the Taco Bell one
is, uh, same thing. This smells like-like, you know, -a Crunchwrap Supreme or
something. -GAILEY: Yes. Yes. I like that they went… they
have the different toppings, but then, the cheese one is just
yellow wrapping paper. SPADE:
Yeah, that’s actually… The KFC one did give somebody’s
fireplace diarrhea, -and that was not the plan.
-That makes sense. But… That was the real fire log. -Yeah?
-SPADE: This is great. Yeah. If you get your girlfriend
lingerie, she’s like, “Oh, it’s great. Smells like
a (bleep) Enchirito.” -(laughter) -You’re like,
“That’s on purpose. Yeah, that’s Taco Bell.” Plus, people who’d want
their house to smell like KFC probably can’t afford
fireplaces. I mean, that’s… (laughter,
applause and cheering) Rude, but possibly true, yeah. -Rude. Rude.
-Yeah. -There’s… There’s gonna be
some burned-down trailers that smell fantastic.