Pre Pep Rally Energy Drinks | MPGIS S1 | Episode 9

Fuck! Oh my god I feel like I’m having an
abortion! Why would God do this to me? Squirtle! How the fuck did this happen?! I think somebody may have put laxatives in
our pre pep rally energy drinks. Really, Trisha?! Really?! You think?! Well, I mean that’s just my best guess…I
couldn’t say for certain without doing a- Goddamn you Shay Van Buren! You know, Shay, you really- What? You really shouldn’t use more than a single
dose of x-lax in each cup. Mikayla, I’m six feet tall and I weigh 105
pounds. I think I know how to mix x-lax into a fucking drink, ok? No! But if you put too much, then it won’t
mix with the liquid and it’ll just sit on top like semen on root beer. Are you sure you’re not a gremlin? I was born in 2003. I have no idea what that
is. Hmm… Sounds like something a gremlin would
say. Oh my God, Deandra! They got you too! Who got me? The three tostadas that I had
for lunch? Yes, they got me. They got me bad. It did not help that they were made with cole
slaw instead of lettuce. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Apparently, the Van Buren family poisoned
our pre pep rally Pineapple juice. Oh yeah, I already knew about that. What? I mean, I already did not knew about that. If I didn’t have Splash Mountain coming out
of my ass I swear I’d rip your fucking head off. Get out! Get out of me! Oh Shay Van Buren!
We are going to get you! We are going to get you so good! Yeah! Dumb whore! Oh Mackenzie Zales! We are going to get you!
We are going to get you so good! Yeah! Dumb whore! Moooommmm!!! What is it Mikayla? Shay is putting too much x-lax in the cheer
leaders pre pep rally energy drinks. Shay! Give me that. You see girls, anything more than a tablespoon
and the x-lax is just gonna sit on top like, well, um, semen on root beer. See? I told you! Shut up, lice head! Mommy, what did you used to drink when you
were a cheerleader? Squeez-its and Zima, why? Can we take these now? Yes, but make sure when they drink them, they
drink them through straws, while standing, outdoors, no more than two hours from now,
girls. If you wait any longer, you will kill them. Ok. C’mon Deandra. Can I come? We’re going to the high school, not fucking
Build-a-Bear. Shay! Goddamit fine. Mommy needs a nap. By a nap, do you mean an Ambien and a box
of wine? What? Byeee! Byeee! Byeee! Shay Van Buren thought it would be funny to
put x-lax in my pre pep rally energy drink. Because of that I missed the biggest pep rally
of the entire year. The pep rally I was going to announce I was running for prom queen. But, but, what about Brittnay and I? Yeah, what the fuck?! Yeah, Mackenzie, you already won Homecoming
Queen. I also won Candy Cane Princess at the winter
social. But that doesn’t fucking matter. I want prom. And to get it we need to fuck Shay
Van Buren’s life. Fuck it right in the ass. No lube! Fisting! With a big black dildo! The biggest! Oh, we should totally fuck up their credit
too. And then we all unfriend them on Facebook. Oh, if they think that they have a good plan,
just wait until they see the plan we have cooked up for prom! Yes, our plan will make their plan look like…
like… like… like… like… our plan is so good! So good! Uh…carry on.