HUD OCIO Learning Session: Emotional Intelligence: The Heartbeat of Effective Leadership

HUD OCIO Learning Session: Emotional Intelligence: The Heartbeat of Effective Leadership


>>HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO THE HUD
OCIO LEARNING SESSION. TODAY WE’LL BE DISCUSSING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE,
THE HEARTBEAT OF EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP. IN YOUR PROFESSIONAL JOURNEY YOU MAY HAVE
COME ACROSS THE TERM EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS IT?
EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DOES IT RELATE TO EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP?
WHY DOES IT MATTER FOR CAREER DEVELOPMENT? IN THIS SESSION, WE WILL DISCUSS EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE IN THE CONTEXT OF LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT, TALENT DEVELOPMENT, AND ITS INTEGRAL
ROLE IN PROMOTING INDIVIDUAL AND ORGANIZATIONAL PERFORMANCE.
WE WILL ALSO DISCUSS HOW A LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CAN STALL A CAREER FAR EARLIER
THAN ITS POTENTIAL. WE’RE VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE WITH US FROM
THE NATIONAL NUCLEAR SECURITY ADMINISTRATION AT THE DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY, OUR GUEST PANELIST.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT DAVE AND WE’LL BEGIN OUR DISCUSSION.
TODAY’S PANELIST IS DR. HAND, PROFESSOR OF LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT AT THE FDIC CORPORATE
UNIVERSITY. THANK YOU FOR BEING ON OUR PANEL TODAY.
DR. DAVE RUDE HAS OVER 35 YEARS OF GOVERNMENT SERVICE, EXPERIENCE IN ORGANIZATIONAL LEADERSHIP,
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT, ADMINISTRATIVE OPERATIONS, AND INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS.
PRESENTLY DR. RUDE LEADS THE NATIONAL NUCLEAR SECURITY ADMINISTRATION’S LEARNING AND CAREER
MANAGEMENT. AS THE NNSA CHIEF LEARNING OFFICER, HE HAS
RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE AGENCY’S LEARNING PORTFOLIO, WHICH ENCOMPASSES DEVELOPING LEADERS AT ALL
MODELS. MENTORING AND INTERNSHIP PROGRAMS.
FROM 2010 TO 2015, HE WAS THE CHIEF LEARNING OFFICER AT THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE’S CIVILIAN
WORKFORCE OF APPROXIMATELY 700,000 EMPLOYEES. AREAS OF RESEARCH INTEREST INCLUDE LEADERSHIP
DEVELOPMENT, ADULT LEARNING, ORGANIZATIONAL LEARNING, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, AND ORGANIZATIONAL
CULTURE. DAVE IS A SENIOR PROFESSIONAL LECTURER AT
THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY, AND HAS A B. S. IN BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION FROM GEORGE
MASON UNIVERSITY, A MASTER OF PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION DEGREE FROM AMERICAN UNIVERSITY, AND A DOCTOR
OF EDUCATION IN HUMAN ORGANIZATIONAL LEARNING FROM THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY.
SO, DAVE, I’M GOING TO TURN IT OVER TO YOU.>>THANK YOU, MELANIE, FOR THE INVITATION
TO TODAY’S WEBINAR AND THANK YOU TO CATHY FOR BEING A PANELIST WITH ME TO DISCUSS WHAT
I BELIEVE IS A VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC FOR THE WORKPLACE, WHICH IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
OUR SESSION TODAY, WE WILL TALK ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND I’LL TYPICALLY
USE THE SHORTHAND EI, DISCUSS WHY IT’S CRITICAL FOR EFFECTIVE PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS,
WHAT ARE THE COMPONENTS THAT ARE VERY PROMINENT IN THE WORKPLACE, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE
EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, AND AN ACTION PLAN GOING FORWARD.
TO START, I’D LIKE TO ASK THE FOLKS ON THE WEBINAR TO THINK ABOUT THIS QUESTION FOR A
FEW SECONDS. WHY WERE YOU HIRED FOR YOUR CURRENT JOB?
MELANIE AND CATHY, I’D LIKE TO GET YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THAT QUESTION.
>>I’LL JUST JUMP IN. I THINK, FOR ME, I THINK I WAS PROBABLY HIRED
BECAUSE OF WHATEVER TECHNICAL SKILLS I HAD. YOU KNOW, I DON’T THINK I WAS HIRED FOR, YOU
KNOW, THE TREMENDOUS EMPATHY I MAY BRING TO A JOB BUT I THINK IT’S REALLY ABOUT THE SKILLS
THAT PEOPLE BRING.>>HOW ABOUT YOU, CATHY?
>>I THINK THAT’S TYPICAL, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE STARTING YOUR PROFESSIONAL CAREER,
THAT SORT OF IT’S A NATURAL THING FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK FOR YOUR TECHNICAL SKILLS VERSUS YOUR
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE OR YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS.
EVEN THOUGH THE MORE ADVANCED YOU BECOME IN YOUR CAREER, THE MORE IMPORTANT IT IS TO BRING
THOSE EI SKILLS OUT.>>RIGHT.
AND WHENEVER I ASK THIS QUESTION TO GROUPS, WHETHER IT’S IN A CLASSROOM OR AT A CONFERENCE
OR AT WORK, YOU BOTH RESPONDED, TYPICALLY IT STARTS WITH YOUR TECHNICAL ACUMEN, GETTING
RESULTS DONE, AND THOSE WILL ALWAYS BE IMPORTANT IN ONE’S CAREER.
AND WHAT WE WANTED TO FOCUS ON TODAY IS BEYOND WHAT GOT YOU IN THE DOOR AND WHAT ELSE YOU
NEED, ONE COMPELLING ANSWER IS, EI, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
AND THERE IS A LOT OF RESEARCH TO ASSERT AND CONCLUDE THAT NOT HAVING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
IS A PRIMARY DERAILER OF CAREERS FOR EMPLOYEES OF ALL LEVELS.
AND SO AS WE TALKED ABOUT A FEW SECONDS AGO, PEOPLE GET HIRED FOR WHAT THEY KNOW, BUT THEIR
CAREER MAY STALL, AS YOU SAID IN THE INTRODUCTION, BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET ALONG WITH
PEOPLE, THEY CAN’T MANAGE CONFLICT, THEY DON’T HAVE THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS THAT ARE NECESSARY
TO BE AN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR AND SOMEONE THAT PEOPLE WANT TO WORK WITH IN THE WORKPLACE.
AND SO WE’LL DIG INTO THAT A LITTLE MORE AS WE GO THROUGH THE SESSION.
SO, WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, ONE OF THE KEYWORDS IN THAT TERM IS EMOTION.
AND SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE EMOTIONS? AND DANIEL GOLDMAN, WHO DIDN’T INVENT THE
TERM BUT HE REALLY POPULARIZED IT AND GOT IT INTO THE MAINSTREAM, CAME UP WITH THESE
EIGHT MAIN CATEGORIES OF EMOTIONS. AS I CLICK THROUGH THE SLIDE HERE, YOU WILL
SEE, FOR EXAMPLE, WHAT PICTURE MAY EQUATE TO LOVE, WHAT MAY BE SOMEONE WHO IS FEARFUL
OR HAS SURPRISE, AND SO THE POINT IS, EMOTIONS, BY THEMSELVES, BY DEFINITION, ARE COORDINATED
RESPONSES TO CHANGES IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT. AND SO IT’S VERY HARD TO PLAN IN ADVANCE WHAT
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE WILL BE, FOR EXAMPLE, IN 20 MINUTES I’M GOING TO BE ELATED.
THAT’S KIND OF HARD TO DO. AND SO IT’S A RESPONSE, IT’S A REACTION TO
SOMETHING THAT IS GOING ON IN THE ENVIRONMENT AROUND YOU.
SO CATHY, WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE, JUST LEAVE YOUR EMOTIONS OUT OF IT, WHAT IS
YOUR REACTION TO THAT?>>WELL, I THINK WE HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME,
AND TYPICALLY PEOPLE TRY TO DO THAT. IT’S REALLY NOT POSSIBLE TO DO THAT.
EMOTION IS ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY HARD WIRED INTO US BECAUSE IT IS GIVING US INFORMATION.
BEFORE WE HAD THE ABILITY TO SPEAK, EVERYBODY HAD TO COMMUNICATE.
THEY GOT SIGNALS FROM EMOTION. SO EMOTION IS THERE TO TELL YOU TO PAY ATTENTION
TO SOMETHING.>>GREAT.
THANK YOU. AND I THINK THIS SLIDE PICKS UP ON WHAT YOU
SAID EARLIER, CAPTAIN — CATHY, ABOUT WHEN WE BEGAN, THESE ARE ELEMENTARY PIECHARTS BUT
IT’S MEANT TO SHOW THAT WHEN YOU BEGIN IN YOUR CAREER, THE TECHNICAL PROFICIENCY WHICH
YOU HAVE, WHICH IS THE BLUE, AND THE RESULTS, WHICH IS THE RED, ARE THE PRIMARY DRIVERS
OF SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU NEED TO ESTABLISH YOUR CREDIBILITY, YOU NEED TO BE KNOWN AS A SUBJECT
MATTER EXPERT, AS A GO-TO PERSON, AND AS YOU MOVE FORWARD AND ADVANCE IN YOUR CAREER, YOU
DON’T LOSE THOSE TECHNICAL SKILL SETS, BUT WHAT BECOMES MORE IMPORTANT AND WHERE YOUR
REPUTATION REALLY BECOMES KNOWN ARE THINGS RELATED TO OH.
AND — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. AND THAT’S THE MESSAGE OF THE SLIDE.
PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOU. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REMEMBER THE FAR SIDE
CARTOONS, BUMMER OF A BIRTHMARK, AND YOU SEE THE BULL’S EYE TARGET ON ONE OF DEER STANDING
UP, AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE ORGANIZATION, AS ESPECIALLY AS YOU HAVE ASPIRATIONS TO MOVE
UP THE CORPORATE LADDER, GET PROMOTED, THINGS OF THAT NATURE, THAT BULL’S-EYE BECOMES MORE
PROMINENT AND THAT BULL’S-EYE IS LARGELY, CAN YOU GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE, DO YOU HAVE
THOSE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS THAT WILL ENABLE YOU TO WORK THROUGH TOUGH CONFLICT-LADEN KINDS
OF SITUATIONS AND KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS WORKING FOR YOU AS OPPOSED TO DERAILING YOUR EFFORTS
TO GET THE WORK DONE.>>IT’S NOT EVEN NECESSARILY CONFLICT.
I THINK IT CAN BE — IT’S ANY KIND OF A STRESSFUL SITUATION, YOU KNOW, THAT YOU’RE PUT INTO.
AND I ALWAYS TELL MY STUDENTS THAT WHENEVER YOU WALK INTO A ROOM, YOU HAVE AN EMOTIONAL
WAKE. AND THE MORE INFLUENCE YOU HAVE, THE MORE
SENIOR YOU ARE, THE BIGGER YOUR WAKE IS. SO WHEN YOU WALK INTO A ROOM, DO PEOPLE SMILE
AND ARE THEY HAPPY TO SEE YOU OR DO THEY GO, OH, NO, HERE COMES JOE AGAIN, HE IS BLANK,
RIGHT?>>THAT’S A GREAT SEGUE TO THE NEXT SLIDE,
THANK YOU. SO, YOU KNOW, IN TERMS OF WHAT ARE LEADERSHIP
THAT OUR ORGANIZATIONS NEED FROM US, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS ON THIS SLIDE AS I CLICK
THROUGH IT THAT MAY BE INTUITIVE TERMS OF WE WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE A VISION AND CHART
A PATH FOR SUCCESS BUT WE ALSO NEED TO HAVE A BALANCED PERSPECTIVE.
THIS IS WHERE EMOTIONS CAN COME INTO PLAY IN TERMS OF BEING ABLE TO BE BALANCED, BEING
ABLE TO CONSTRUCT I FEEL BE RESILIENT IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY AND COMPLEXITY, MAKING AN
IMPACT WITHOUT CAUSING UNNECESSARY WAVES, SO IS THE WAKE THAT YOU’RE CREATING MOVING
THE AGENCY FORWARD, IS IT MOVING THAT BOAT FURTHER DOWNSTREAM TO WHERE IT NEEDS TO BE
OR IS THAT WAKE CAUSING A TIDAL WAVE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION?
AND TIME FOR REFLECTION AND PERSONAL GROWTH IS THE FINAL ATTRIBUTE THAT I SHOW ON THE
SLIDE, AND THAT IS BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS LIKE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND DEALING
WITH PEOPLE, YOU REALLY DO NEED TO TAKE THE TIME TO REFLECT ON WHAT’S GOING ON, TO BE
ATTUNED TO WHAT’S GOING ON WITH WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOUR EMOTIONS.
WE’LL TALK MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. AND THERE’S ALSO A LOT OF DATA THAT SHOWS
THAT, WITHIN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS SOMETHING THAT WE CAN AND
SHOULD BE PAYING PROBABLY A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION TO.
SO A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO IN AN AGENCY I USED TO WORK IN, WE DID A SURVEY OF OUR LEADERSHIP
COMPETENCY GAPS AND STRENGTHS AT ALL LEVELS AND I JUST PICKED THE MANAGERIAL LEVEL, THOSE
WHO SUPERVISE OTHER SUPERVISORS, AND HERE ARE THEIR STRENGTHS.
THESE ARE NOT LIGHTWEIGHT STRENGTHS, TO HAVE NATIONAL SECURITY AS A STRENGTH, EXTERNAL
AWARENESS, FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT IS ALL GREAT. NOTE WHAT THE GAPS ARE.
AND MELANIE, IN LOOKING AT THIS SLIDE, WHAT PATTERNS OR THEMES DO YOU NOTICE ABOUT WHERE
THE GAPS ARE.>>WELL, AS I KIND OF LOOK THROUGH THIS, I
THINK — I ALWAYS THINK THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS ARE SO IMPORTANT, AND THAT’S NOT MENTIONED
AS A STRENGTH, RIGHT? SO WHAT’S MENTIONED — BUT THESE ARE THE DIFFERENCES
SOMETIMES BETWEEN WHAT A MANAGER IS AND WHAT A LEADER IS H. BECAUSE I THINK MANAGEMENT
— AND I THINK WE SEE MANY MORE MANAGERS THAN WE DO LEADERS.
AND SO MANAGERS ARE ALL ABOUT, REALLY, THE TECHNICAL SKILLS AND ACCOMPLISHMENT OF TASKS.
LEADERS ARE ALL ABOUT, WHAT ARE DO YOU DO WITH PEOPLE.
AND I — I COULD EASILY SEE HOW IT’S CLEARLY NOT A ONE FOR ONE KIND OF THING HERE.
BUT THE INTERESTING THINKING IS, HOW DO YOU BEGIN TO MOVE THAT TOGETHER, RIGHT?
>>RIGHT. AND THESE ARE COMMON FINDINGS AT ALL LEVELS
OF LEADERSHIP. THE TOP THREE GAPS, IN MOST AGENCIES, DEAL
WITH, AGAIN, THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS, COMMUNICATION, CONFLICT MANAGEMENT, THINGS THAT EVOKE OR
WHERE EMOTIONS CAN REALLY RISE, IF YOU WILL, TO THE OCCASION TO BE A POSITIVE FORCE IN
DEALING WITH PEOPLE AND MOVING FORWARD. I THINK ANOTHER KEY THING ABOUT EI IS WHAT
I CALL THE LITMUS TEST. NOT WHEN SKIES ARE CALM.
IF THE THREE OF US ARE HAVING A MEETING ON THE BUDGET AND WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IN THE
BUDGET AND EVERYTHING’S GOING WELL, ALL THE PROGRAMS ARE ON TRACK, YOU KNOW, THAT MAY
NOT BE A TEST BED FOR HOW EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT ARE ANY OF US.
BUT IF WE WALK INTO A MEETING AND SAY, OKAY, FOLKS, THE BUDGET HAS BEEN SLASHED BY 30%,
AND THE PROGRAM THAT YOU MANAGED IS ON THE HOOK AND YOU REALLY NEED TO DEFEND THIS AND,
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GRAB WHAT YOU CAN’T JUSTIFY, NOW YOU’RE IN
A MORE TURBULENT ENVIRONMENT. AND THIS IS WHERE EI CAN REALLY BE SHOWCASED
AS AN ASSET FOR US AS LEADERS AND AS PROFESSIONALS IN THE WORKPLACE TO HAVE.
AND FIRST, YOU KNOW, BEFORE WE PROCEED ANY FURTHER, I WANTED TO WALK AND TALK THROUGH
A DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THAT I HAVE SUBSCRIBED TO FROM NELSON AND LOWE
WHO HAVE BEEN STUDYING EI FOR ABOUT 40 YEARS. AND I THINK THE KEY TERMS ARE HIGHLIGHTED,
THE CONVERGENCE OF LEARNED ABILITIES. THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT EI, AND I’M A FERVENT
BELIEVER, IS THAT THEY CAN BE LEARNED. THE SKILLS RELATED TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
CAN BE LEARNED. AND THERE ARE VARIOUS DEFINITIONS OUT THERE.
THE ONE THAT SCHOLARS ALL SEEM TO AGREE ON IS, A, THAT IT STARTS WITH SELF-AWARENESS.
MELANIE, YOU TOUCHED ON THAT EARLIER. YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOURSELF
AND YOU HAVE BEEN TO BE ATTUNED TO THE EMOTIONAL STATE, THE EMOTIONS THAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING.
I ALSO PARTICULARLY LIKE THIS DEFINITION BECAUSE IT ACKNOWLEDGES THE STRESS AND THE DEMANDS
AND THE PRESSURES OF EVERYDAY LIFE AND WORK AND HOW YOU PRODUCTIVELY RESPOND TO THOSE
— PRODUCTIVELY RESPOND TO THOSE STRESS FACTORS, BUT THERE ARE A NUMBER OF DEFINITIONS AROUND
EI AND PERSPECTIVES.>>WHEN EI BEGAN TO BE IN THE NEWS PRETTY
FREQUENTLY IN OUR READINGS AND JOURNALS, PEOPLE BEGAN TO WONDER, WELL, WHY IS IT THAT EI — WE
DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS BEFORE. AND IN REALITY WE DID KNOW ABOUT IT BEFORE.
CLEAR BACK IN THE ’20S, YOU KNOW, IT WAS SORT OF HINTED AT IN DIFFERENT TYPES OF LITERATURE,
WHETHER IT’S EDUCATION OR PSYCHOLOGY OR MANAGEMENT. AND THROUGH THE YEARS IT’S COME AND GONE A
LITTLE BIT. IT WAS PETER SALOVO AND DAVID CARUSO — NOT
THE ACTOR JOHN MAYER, NOT THE SINGER. WHO ACTUALLY COINED THE TERM EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
BACK IN ’95, THAT AREA, BUT THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT MODELS NOW IN THE HANDBOOK OF LEADERSHIP,
WE HAVE — THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TERM THREE TIMES, MEANING THREE DIFFERENT THINGS.
ONE WITH AN ABILITY MODEL, A MIXED MODEL, A TRAIT MODEL.
I THINK ONE OF THE EASIEST WAYS TO THINK ABOUT IT IN SORT OF MY SHORTCUT DEFINITION IS, USING
EMOTION INTELLIGENTLY, BECAUSE INSTEAD OF IGNORING YOUR EMOTION, YOU’RE BRINGING IT
IN, YOU’RE UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU’RE FEELING AND YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE TRIGGER.
AND UNDERSTANDING THEN HOW TO USE THAT EMOTION TO YOUR BENEFIT TO INFLUENCE RATHER THAN TO
YOUR DISADVANTAGE.>>I THINK THAT GOES TO THE BUMPER STICKER
OF THINKING CONSTRUCTIVELY AND ACTING WISELY. MELANIE?
>>AN INTERESTING THING AS I THINK THROUGH THIS IS THAT, AGAIN, I GET BACK TO LEADERS
AND MANAGERS, RIGHT? AND I THINK ABOUT PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS.
I DON’T BELIEVE THAT THESE KIND OF THINGS ARE OFTEN LOOKED FOR IN PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS.
MAYBE IN SOME AGENCIES THEY ARE, BUT I THINK WIDELY THROUGHOUT THE PUBLIC SECTOR, I DON’T
THINK SO. BUT, YOU KNOW, PERHAPS, AS WE THINK FORWARD
INTO THE FUTURE, IF SOME OF THESE — IF SOME OF THESE THINGS WERE PUT INTO PERFORMANCE
APPRAISALS, WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO INSTILL THIS IN THE FUTURE WORKFORCE.
>>YES. SOME AGENCIES ARE A BIT MORE PROGRESSIVE NOW
AND THEY HAVE THE BEHAVIORAL STANDARDS AND THE TECHNICAL STANDARDS.
AND THE BEHAVIORAL STANDARDS, YOU KNOW, THE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND THOSE KIND
OF THINGS ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE POPULAR TO WORK IN.
AND THAT’S A GOOD THING.>>IN MY AGENCY, NNSA, TO THAT POINT, FOR
MANY OF US WITHIN THE MANAGEMENT AND BUDGET AREA, WE HAVE AS ONE OF OUR STANDARD PERFORMANCE
ELEMENTS, CUSTOMER SERVICE. WELL, HOW EFFECTIVE ARE YOU GOING TO BE AT
CUSTOMER SERVICE IF YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH PEOPLE? AND ALSO FOR THE OTHER PERFORMANCE ELEMENTS,
WE HAVE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS LIKE COMMUNICATION AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS AND THINGS OF THAT
NATURE. SO THERE IS A DIRECT TIE-IN TO A LOT OF THE
EI ATTRIBUTES, BUT I AGREE WITH CATHY, IT’S NOT PERVASIVE ACROSS GOVERNMENT NECESSARILY,
BUT SOME AGENCIES HAVE MADE IT A — A BIT MORE OF AN INVESTMENT IN IT.
>>A BIG PIECE IS UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF. THAT’S REALLY — IT’S ONE THING TO BE ABLE
TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. IT’S ANOTHER TO UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN MOTIVATIONS
AND UNDERSTAND YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU ACTUALLY CAN CONVEY THAT OUT TO OTHER
PEOPLE.>>YEAH.
CERTAINLY IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOURSELF FIRST, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO UNDERSTAND HOW
OTHER PEOPLE ARE SEEING YOU.>>EXACTLY.
>>AND SO WHENEVER I TALK ABOUT EI, AND I THINK CATH — CATHY AS WELL, WE ADDRESS THE
ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD OF SOMEONE BEING DESCRIBED
AS “EMOTIONAL”, AND YOU ASK PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK OF SOMEONE AS BEING “EMOTIONAL
WILL, WHAT WORD COMES TO MIND? AND 90% OF THE FEEDBACK I GET, I DON’T KNOW
ABOUT YOU, IS, THERE’S A VERY NEGATIVE CONNOTATION. AND SO I THINK THAT CARRIES OVER TO WHERE
YOU HEAR THE WORDS “EMOTIONAL” RELATED TO THE WORKPLACE, RELATED TO LEADERSHIP, YOU’RE
HAVING TO FACE THIS CONNOTATION AND BIAS. AND YOU TOUCHED ON THIS EARLIER, CATHY.
DO YOU WANT TO EXPAND ON WHY EMOTIONS MAY GET A BAD RAP?
>>SURE. YOU KNOW, BEFORE — AGAIN, BEFORE WE COULD
SPEAK, BEFORE WE HAD A VOCABULARY AND — WE HAD TO USE OUR LIMBIC SYSTEM TO COMMUNICATE
AND TO DO EVERYTHING WITH EACH OTHER. THE LIMBIC SYSTEM IS THE PART OF YOUR BRAIN
THAT SECRETES THE HORMONES AND SOMETIMES IT’S CALLED THE REPTILIAN BRAIN BECAUSE IT WAS
THERE FIRST. IT’S ACTUALLY NOW COVERED BY THE CORTEX, WHICH
IS YOUR THINKING BRAIN. SO THE TWO HAVE TO CONNECT.
FOR A LONG TIME WE DIDN’T REALLY KNOW — IT’S WHAT MAYBE GOT ME SO INVOLVED IN EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE, IS I USED TO TEACH ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES, AND THEN I RAN A COMMUNITY CENTER
WHERE THEY WERE MANDATED, YOUR MANAGEMENT CLASSES, AND WHEN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FIRST,
YOU KNOW, HIT THE NEWS AND THE JOURNALS, THERE WAS A QUESTION WHETHER YOU COULD ACTUALLY
INCREASE IT OR NOT. AND SO MY THINKING AS A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE
IS, WELL, WHY ARE WE HAVING MANDATED ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES IF IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO IMPROVE
YOUR ANGER MANAGEMENT? SO I BEGAN TO BE MORE INTERESTED IN EI AND
DID MY DISSERTATION IN IT AS WELL. BUT WHAT HAPPENS IN OUR BRAINS IS, YOU KNOW,
OUR FIVE SENSES, WE SENSE SOMETHING HAPPENING IN THE ROOM, WHETHER IT’S A SOUND THAT WE
HEAR, WHETHER IT’S — YOU HEAR ABOUT WOMEN’S INTUITION, YOU CAN SENSE THAT SOMETHING HAS
HAPPENED BEFORE YOU GOT THERE, WHETHER YOU TASTE SOMETHING BAD, WE HAVE THESE FIVE SENSES,
AND THE INFORMATION GOES IMMEDIATELY FIRST TO THE AMYGDALA, WHICH IS A THREAT MANAGEMENT
PART OF YOUR BRAIN. SO IT TELLS YOU WHETHER IT’S A THREAT, WHICH
IS WHY WE GET THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE, AND THAT WAS — AND IF OUR BRAIN SEES SOMETHING
AS A THREAT, LITERALLY THE AMYGDALA WILL PUMP OUT SO MUCH ADRENALINE THAT THE CONNECTION
TO YOUR THINKING BRAIN CLOSES, BECAUSE IT — OUR BRAIN DOESN’T WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO, IT WANTS YOU TO ACT. SO THAT’S WHY SO MANY TIMES YOU’LL HAVE SPORTING
EVENTS WHERE PEOPLE WILL JUST GO CRAZY IF THEY LOSE, AND THEN THEY — THE NEXT DAY THEY’LL
SAY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. I DON’T BEHAVE THAT WAY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? AND IT’S BECAUSE THAT BRAIN — THE THINKING
BRAIN GOT KIND OF SHUT OFF THERE. SO IT’S IMPORTANT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THOSE
EMOTIONS RATHER THAN LETTING THEM TAKE CONTROL OF US.
SO WE CAN LEARN TO DO THAT. WE CAN LEARN TO TAKE BACK CONTROL AND MOVE
FORWARD IN A MORE THINKING MANNER.>>SO I THINK THAT EMOTIONAL IS — AND I BELIEVE
— THE TERM EMOTIONAL HIJACKING.>>AMYGDALA HIJACKING.
>>TO YOUR POINT, EVERYTHING ELSE, OKAY, CORTEX, GO TO STARBUCKS, I’LL CALL YOU BACK WHEN I
NEED YOU KIND OF THING, AND IT WASN’T UNTIL REALLY THE LAST HALF CENTURY THAT EVEN A LOT
OF THE RESEARCH CAUGHT UP WITH EMOTIONS CAN BE VERY POSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE AND HEALTHY,
WHICH IS ON THIS SLIDE. THE GREEN BOXES ON THE RIGHT IN TERMS OF NOT
JUST THIS KNEE-JERK REACTION WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONAL, BUT BEING
MORE REFLECTIVE, AND, AGAIN, AS WE TALKED ABOUT BEING SELF-AWARE, ASSESSING, IDENTIFYING,
AND LABELING THE EMOTIONS, WHICH CAN ALL LEAD TO EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR.
>>RIGHT. WE’RE VERY LUCKY THAT IN THE PAST 20, 25 YEARS,
WE HAVE HAD SIGNIFICANT DEVELOPMENT IN TECHNOLOGY, SO NOW WE CAN ACTUALLY SEE HOW THE BRAIN IS
WORKING WHILE SOMEONE IS ALIVE VERSUS DOING THE AUTOPSY AFTER THEY DIE.
SO IT’S HELPED US A LOT TO UNDERSTAND THOSE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN OUR LIMBIC SYSTEM AND
OUR THINKING BRAIN.>>SO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS REALLY A MODEL
FOR HEALTHY CHANGE. AS WE SAW EARLIER, THINKING CONSTRUCTIVELY
AND ACTING WISELY. REFLECTION IS JUST PART OF THE PROCESS.
YOU REALLY HAVE TO THINK YOUR WAY THROUGH, OKAY, I JUST GOT OUT OF THAT VERY CONTENTIOUS
THREE HOUR BUDGET MEETING, HOW DID THAT GO, FOR MYSELF, ASKING PEERS FOR FEEDBACK, THAT
KIND OF THING. AND SO IT’S REALLY THE LITTLE THINGS THAT
CAN HELP FORTIFY AND MOVE US FORWARD INTO MORE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT DIRECTIONS, AND
THIS — AS I’M CLICKING THROUGH THE SLIDE HERE, YOU KNOW, YOU’VE RUN ACROSS MARY IN
THE HALLWAY, SHE DOESN’T SAY HELLO. AND ONE OF YOUR ACTIONS COULD BE, YOU KNOW
WHAT, SHE’S JUST A SNOB. AND SO ANGER COMES INTO PLAY, AND IT JUST
INTENSIFIES AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE AN ANTAGONISTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY,
JUST BECAUSE SHE DID NOT SAY HELLO. OR YOU CAN TAKE A MORE EMPATHETIC APPROACH.
AND THIS IS WHERE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CAN COME INTO MAY.
SHE MUST BE PREOCCUPIED, IT’S BUDGET SEASON, SHE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF A TON OF THINGS, YOU
KNOW, THAT CAN, AGAIN, JUST BY TAKING A DIFFERENT EMOTIONAL APPROACH TO THIS, CAN EVOKE SYMPATHY
AND WARMTH AND YOU MAINTAIN YOUR POSITIVE CONSTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY.
AND SO EI IS NOT SOME BIG SEISMIC THING THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH.
IT’S REALLY ABOUT THOSE INDIVIDUAL INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS, IF YOU WILL, THAT OCCUR ALL
THE TIME IN THE WORKPLACE. AND SO THE SMALLEST THINGS CAN MAKE THE BIGGEST
DIFFERENCE.>>INTERESTINGLY, IF WE GO BACK TO THE — I
THINK PROBABLY THE DESTRUCTIVE OCCURS A LITTLE MORE THAN THE CONSTRUCTIVE.
SO HOW WOULD WE GO ABOUT TURNING THAT AROUND? HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT TURNING THAT AROUND ONCE
THAT MINDSET SETS IN? IS THERE A WAY TO DO THAT THROUGH EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE?>>THERE CERTAINLY IS, AND IT HAS A LOT TO
DO WITH CHANGING YOUR ATTITUDE. LIKE I WAS SAYING, OUR LIMBIC SYSTEM IS DESIGNED
TO MEASURE THREATS, AND WE WILL SEE, YOU KNOW, HER NOT SAYING HELLO TO US AS A THREAT, AS
IN, WHAT DID I DO TO HER AND WHY IS SHE MAD AT ME TODAY, AS OPPOSED TO STOPPING YOURSELF
AND THINKING ABOUT, NO, REALLY, NOTHING HAPPENED SO MAYBE MARY’S HAD A BAD DAY, I DON’T KNOW
WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER, SHE IS PREOCCUPIED, MAYBE IF I JUST GO UP TO HER FIRST.
SO IT’S A MATTER OF STOPPING YOUR BRAIN, STOPPING THE WAY YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY LOOKING AT THE
THREAT, AND MOVING BACK AND ADJUSTING HOW YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT IT.
WE ACTUALLY HAVE VERY LAZY BRAINS. YOU KNOW, IT WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO DOWN THE
SAME PATH, THE MORE YOU THINK IT, THE MORE YOUR BRAIN WILL JUMP TO THAT CONCLUSION RIGHT
AWAY. AND SO WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS CREATE NEW PATHWAYS.
AND THAT’S WHAT CREATES THE BEHAVIOR CHANGE. OUR HABITS ARE FORMED IN OUR — ARE STORED
IN OUR BASAL GANGLIA AND WE WANT TO MAKE NEW HABITS IN A NEW DIRECTION.
>>SO IT DOES TAKE TIME. IT TAKES PRACTICE.
AND WE’LL TALK ABOUT SOME MORE PRACTICAL TIPS A LITTLE LATER ON.
GREAT QUESTION. SO, KEY DIMENSIONS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
AT WORK INCLUDE THESE ATTRIBUTES AND OTHERS. WE’LL TALK ABOUT THESE TODAY.
WE TOUCHED ON SELF-AWARENESS ALREADY, AND IN FACT WHEN I TALK ABOUT SELF-AWARENESS IN
VARIOUS GROUPS, I ASK THEM TO WORK THROUGH AN ACTIVITY OF REFLECTION, OF DESCRIBE AN
EVENT OR SCENARIO RECENTLY IN WHICH YOU DID NOT ACT OR RESPOND OR BEHAVE IN A WAY THAT,
LOOKING BACK, YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE. AND ONE OF THE OUTCOMES OF THAT EXERCISE IS,
WHAT WERE THE SYMPTOMS OF — OR SIGNALS FROM THE BODY THAT WERE TELLING YOU SOMETHING WAS
GOING ON, WHETHER IT’S THE SWEATING BROW, OR THE KNOTS IN THE STOMACH, FOR ME THE THROAT
GETS TIGHTER, THAT KIND OF THING, AND ONE OF THE — A QUOTE THAT’S REALLY RESONATED
WITH ME AND I FORGET WHO SAID IT, THE MIND EVENTUALLY CAUGHT UP TO WHAT THE BODY ALREADY
KNEW. THIS IS A FIELD OF SOMATIC LEARNING WHERE
THE BODY IS OFTEN THE FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE, IF YOU WILL, IN SAYING, WHOA, THERE IS SOMETHING
HERE THAT YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO. SO IF YOU’RE IN A MEETING AND, ONCE AGAIN,
YOUR PALMS ARE SWEATY OR WHATEVER, IF YOU’RE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, THAT SELF-AWARENESS
ALLOWS YOU TO SAY, STOP, WHAT EMOTION AM I FEELING, WHAT IS GOING ON, WHAT’S DRIVING
THIS, AND HOW CAN I MORE PRODUCTIVELY CHANNEL MY FEELINGS, MY THOUGHTS, MY EMOTIONS INTO
SOMETHING THAT WILL CONTRIBUTE IN A HEALTHY WAY.
SOCIAL AWARENESS, YOU KNOW, THE WORKPLACE IS A SOCIAL VENUE, YOU KNOW.
HE LEADERSHIP IS SOCIAL IF YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT.
WE REALLY NEED TO, AS CATHY SAID, FIRST BE ATTUNED TO OURSELVES IN ORDER TO THEN BE ABLE
TO TAP INTO WHAT IS THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF PEOPLE AROUND ME, AND WHAT’S GOING ON WITH
THEM.>>LEADERSHIP IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIP.
YOU CAN’T BE A LEADER WITHOUT IT.>>EMPATHY, YOU KNOW, WALKING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S
SHOES, AND SUSPENDING YOUR OWN AGENDA. AND THAT’S REALLY HARD BECAUSE HOW MANY TIMES
IS SOMEONE TALKING AND YOU’RE ALREADY FORMULATING HOW YOU’RE GOING TO RESPOND TO THAT, WHAT
YOU’RE GOING TO SAY. AND SO IT’S REALLY BEING IN THEIR WORLD.
AND SO BEING AN EMPATHETIC LEADER, EMPATHETIC COLLEAGUE, A PEER, IS REALLY SO IMPORTANT
TO A HEALTHY WORKPLACE. DECISION-MAKING, AND I THOUGHT WHEN I FIRST
CAME ACROSS THIS, I WAS RESEARCHING EI SEVERAL YEARS AGO, WOW, DECISION-MAKING IS TYPICALLY
THOUGHT OF AS A VERY COGNITIVE, RATIONAL, THINKING KIND OF A PROCESS.
BUT, REALLY, THERE’S TREMENDOUS EMOTIONAL UNDERCURRENTS AND FACTORS IN DECISION-MAKING
BECAUSE WHEN YOU MAKE A DECISION, YOU FEEL, WE WANT YOU TO FEEL GOOD, YOU WANT TO FEEL
GOOD ABOUT THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE, AND SO YOU’RE TAPPING INTO THOSE EMOTIONS.
AND IF THERE’S SOMETHING THAT YOUR EMOTIONS ARE TELLING YOU, I’M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS,
YOU KNOW, TO GIVE YOU PAUSE SO THAT WHEN YOU MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION, THE COGNITIVE AND
THE EMOTIONAL ASPECTS ARE IN HARMONY. AND THEY’RE A PARTNERSHIP.
THAT’S REALLY ALSO SOMETHING THAT IS KEY FOR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, I THINK, IS, IT’S
NOT EITHER THINKING OR FEELING, LIKE IF YOU THINK OF YOUR MEYERS BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR,
I’M AN ISTJ. THAT DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T FEEL.
SO IT’S NOT AN EITHER/OR. IT’S A BOTH/AND.
AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS REALLY A BOTH/AND. FINALLY, PERSONAL LEADERSHIP IS REALLY TALKING
ABOUT HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AS A LEADER, BECAUSE THAT IS CONTAGIOUS, YOU KNOW,
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF, YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND, THINGS OF THAT NATURE, YOU
KNOW, WHEN THE BOSS COMES IN AND THEY’RE JUST GRUMPY AND THEY’RE IN A FOUL MOOD, EVERYBODY
KNOWS IT, RIGHT? IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY’RE THINKING;
IT’S BECAUSE OF THE EMOTIONAL STATE.>>THAT’S RIGHT.
>>THAT THEY HAVE, WHAT’S GOING ON. I THINK THAT’S ALSO VERY IMPORTANT AS FAR
AS THE WORKPLACE. CATHY, ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ADD?
>>JUST THAT WAKE AGAIN. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY AND EVERYBODY
KNOWS IT WHEN YOU’RE NOT, AND SOMETHING THAT’S REALLY MORE DIFFICULT TO HIDE THAN PEOPLE
REALIZE. ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS WE NEED TO LOOK AT
FOR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, AS DAVE SAID, YOU KNOW, IN THE ABILITY MODEL, IS PERCEIVING
WHAT THE EMOTION IS, NOT ONLY IN YOURSELF BUT IN YOUR BOSS AND THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND
YOU, BECAUSE IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT EMOTION IS GOING ON, THEN YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND TO
PEOPLE’S FAVOR. YOU FIND OUT WHY THEY’RE UPSET, YOU CAN FIND
OUT, WOW, WHAT DID YOU DO THAT MADE YOU SO HAPPY, YOU HAVE KEY — A KEYWAY TO BUILD THAT
RELATIONSHIP.>>SO, WE TALKED ABOUT THE DIMENSIONS OF EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE IN THE WORKPLACE AND NOW WHAT I JUST WANTED TO SHOW ARE WHEN AND WHERE EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE APPEARS IN THE WORKPLACE. AND I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT WHEN I LOOK
AT THIS LIST, VERY LITTLE OF MY TIME AT WORK IS NOT SPENT ON ANY ONE OF THESE FIVE FACTORS.
IF YOU’RE NOT SWARMED WITH 200 E-MAILS, YOU’RE IN MEETINGS THROUGHOUT THE DAY, THE WORKPLACE
CAN BE FRAUGHT WITH TENSIONS FOR ANY NUMBER OF REASONS.
THERE’S COMPLEXITY ALL AROUND. AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF IN AN UNFAMILIAR
SURROUNDING. SO IT’S EVERYWHERE.
AND THE OPPORTUNITY FOR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ITS PRESENCE IS, I THINK, VERY PERVASIVE
IN THE WORKPLACE. AND, OKAY, THAT’S NICE.
SO WHAT? AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE HEALTHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE,
IF YOU’RE NOT AWARE OF WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOURSELF, IF YOU’RE NOT ATTUNED TO OTHERS,
IF YOU DON’T HAVE THOSE GOOD INTERPERSONAL SKILLS AND CAN REALLY TAP INTO THE SOCIAL
SURROUNDING CALLED THE WORKPLACE, YOU BECOME THE PROBLEM.
AND THAT RIGHT THERE, I COULD STOP THE SLIDE RIGHT THERE BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T EVER
WANT TO BE LABELED AS “THE PROPER”, AND CATHY MENTIONED THAT EARLIER, OH, HERE COMES JOE
AGAIN. WELL, WHY IS THAT?
OVER TIME, JOE HAS DEMONSTRATED PERHAPS SOME DEFICIENCIES WITH REGARDS TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE,
AND SO THEREFORE PEOPLE AVOID WORKING WITH YOU.
WHO IS GOING TO FOLLOW THE LEADER THAT IS AN EMOTIONAL HOTHEAD?
YOUR MOTIVES GET QUESTIONED. SO IF YOU’RE NOT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, IT’S
VERY HARD, IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE, FOR SOMEONE TO ALSO LABEL YOU AS ALTRUISTIC.
YOU KNOW, FOR THE GOOD OF THE COLLECTIVE OR THE GOODNESS OF OTHERS.
DECISIONS GET MADE AROUND YOU, AND CONFLICTS MANAGE YOU.
YOU BECOME A HOSTAGE TO THE CONFLICT THAT’S GOING ON AS OPPOSED TO HAVING THAT EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE IN ORDER TO NAVIGATE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE CONFLICT IN A HEALTHY AND POSITIVE
WAY. AND AS A RESULT, IF YOU’RE THE PROBLEM, THAT
TARNISHES YOUR REPUTATION. AND IT’S HARD TO DO THIS ON THE WEBINAR BUT
I WOULD INVITE FOLKS TO GO TO THAT LINK. IT’S A POLAR BEAR ON A TREADMILL, OF ALL THINGS.
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?>>YES, I HAVE.
>>SO I USE THAT AS THE TREADMILL IS THE WORKPLACE, AND THE POLAR BEAR DOES NOT HAVE EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE. AND YOU SEE HOW THE POLAR BEAR HAS DIFFICULTIES
NAVIGATING THE TREADMILL. SO PRACTICAL TIPS, SOME OF THE THINGS WE WANTED
TO LEAVE WITH THE AUDIENCE IN TERMS OF HOW TO HONE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, AS WE
TALKED ABOUT EARLIER, IT’S LEARNED, YOU CAN LEARN IT, YOU CAN HONE IT, YOU CAN SHARPEN,
IMPROVE IT, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF ASSESSMENTS OUT THERE THAT CAN HELP PINPOINT WHAT ASPECTS
OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ARE YOU REALLY SOLID IT, WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS, AND WHAT ARE
THOSE OPPORTUNITIES, WHERE MIGHT YOU FOCUS ON.
FOR ME PERSONALLY, WHEN I’VE TAKEN EI ASSESSMENTS, ONE OF THOSE AREAS TO FOCUS ON IS STRESS MANAGEMENT.
YOU KNOW, I DON’T HANDLE — I DON’T — I MAY NOT EXUDE THAT I’M OVERSTRESSED BUT IT SORT
OF EATS AWAY AT ME. THAT’S SOMETHING I’VE HAD TO WORK ON.
TAKING THE HIGH ROAD IS TOUGH. AND I HATE TO SOUND NEGATIVE BUT I HAVE BEEN
IN ORGANIZATIONS AND PERHAPS MELANIE AND CATHY, YOU HAVE AS WELL, WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE IN
THE OFFICE WHO ARE JUST CONSTANTLY NEGATIVE, THEY WANT TO INCITE CONFLICT, THEY WANT TO
UNDERMINE A POSITIVE FRAME OF MIND OR A CLIMATE IN THE OFFICE, AND AS TEMPTING AS IT MAY BE
TO BE DRAGGED DOWN IN THE MUD IN THOSE KINDS OF ENVIRONMENTS, BEING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MEANS YOU TAKE THAT HIGH ROAD. WHAT DOES THAT PRACTICE LOOK LIKE?
A TIP THAT I HAVE OR A TECHNIQUE I HAVE USED WHEN I FEEL I’M BEING — ENCOUNTERING THAT
KIND OF AN ENVIRONMENT, IS, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, DAVE, I’M STRUGGLING WITH HOW
IS THIS HELPFUL IN RESOLVING THIS ISSUE. TALK TO ME ABOUT HOW THAT’S HELPFUL AND HOW
THIS IS GOING TO MOVE US FORWARD. AND SO IF YOU STEER THE CONVERSATION — EVEN
IF THEY DON’T GO THERE, YOU’VE SIGNALED THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING.
AND I THINK THAT CAN BE HELPFUL.>>QUESTIONING IS ALSO ANOTHER REALLY GOOD
WAY TO DO THAT. RATHER THAN — WHEN SOMEONE MAKES A NEGATIVE
COMMENT ABOUT SOMEONE, YOU KNOW, PULL THAT EMPATHY STRING AND SAY, HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT SHE’S BEEN THROUGH LATELY? AND HELP THEM TO PUT THEMSELVES IN THE OTHER
PERSON’S SHOES OR, YOU KNOW, DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT HER JOB IS RIGHT NOW, AND, YOU KNOW,
EXPAND A BIT ON THE CHALLENGES THAT YOUR BOSS HAS IN TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN THAT
MAYBE AREN’T SO APPARENT TO PEOPLE. IT HELPS THEM TO HAVE TO THINK AND REFLECT
VERSUS KEEP GOING.>>I THINK IT GETS TO BEING GENUINE, BEING
AUTHENTIC.>>ABSOLUTELY.
>>TRYING TO FAKE EMPATHY DOESN’T WORK. PEOPLE CAN EASILY READ THROUGH THAT.
SO THE AUTHENTICITY IS REALLY IMPORTANT. AND I THINK ANOTHER HELPFUL TIP IS BEING RECEPTIVE
TO THE FEEDBACK, WHETHER YOU ASK FOR IT OR NOT.
AND THE HEAD, HEART AND GUTIERREZ, YOU NEED — GUT, YOU NEED IT ALL.
THIS BRINGS IN WHERE YOU READ ABOUT THE GUT INSTINCT OR BUTTERFLIES TO THE STOMACH, THE
CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM IS ALSO ANOTHER KEY FACTOR IN THIS, SO THE HEAD, HEART AND GUT
IS REALLY AN ALLIANCE IN TERMS OF BEING EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT.
YOU NEED TO THINK YOUR WAY THROUGH EMOTIONS. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T CONNECT THOSE TWO THOUGHTS.
BUT I THINK THAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT. SHARING YOUR STORIES ABOUT WHERE, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU’VE SHADOWED SOMEONE WHO HAD HIGH EMOTION INTELLIGENCE, WHAT DID THAT LOOK LIKE AND
WHAT WERE THE ATTRIBUTES OF HER OR HIM. I THINK STORY TELLING CAN BE VERY POWERFUL.
AND ONE OF THE KEY FINDINGS FROM MY DISSERTATION RESEARCH WAS, GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
THAT GOES BACK TO UNFAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS, AND THAT I THINK IS ANOTHER WAY OF, THESE
ARE PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW, THIS IS AN ENVIRONMENT THAT YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH, AND SO I THINK
THAT’S ANOTHER — THAT’S FERTILE GROUND FOR HONING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
CATHY, ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ADD TO THAT?>>NO, I TOTALLY AGREE.
I HAD A VERY WISE PROFESSOR ONCE WHO SAID TO ME, EVERY PERSON YOU MEET KNOWS SOMETHING
THAT YOU DON’T KNOW, AND YOUR JOB IS TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS.
AND I THINK THAT REALLY HELPS YOU TO RELATE TO PEOPLE, WHETHER THEY HAVE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT
JOB THAN YOU, YOU KNOW, THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT THEM THAT THEY CAN TEACH YOU, AND THAT’S,
AGAIN, SOMETHING THAT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS ALL ABOUT, THAT CONSTANT LEARNING.
>>YOU KNOW, THESE ARE GREAT TIPS, BUT MY FEAR IS THAT UNDER THE PRESSURES OF ACTUALLY
GETTING SOMETHING DONE IN A VERY IMMEDIATE TIMEFRAME, SOMETIMES THIS STUFF GOES OUT THE
WINDOW. AND SO HOW DO YOU — HOW CAN YOU KIND OF HARNESS
ALL THAT BACK AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE — EVERY DAY IN ORGANIZATION YOU HAVE THE PRESSURE
OF DELIVERING SOMETHING, WHATEVER THAT SOMETHING IS.
SO HOW DO YOU BRING THIS BACK? BECAUSE THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO BEING REALLY
PRODUCTIVE.>>THANK YOU FOR THAT SEGUE.
>>PERFECT.>>I THINK AN ACTION PLAN CAN BE, HOW WILL
I DO THAT, AND SO THERE’S DEVELOPING YOUR EI, AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, SUSTAINING THAT
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. SO BUILDING THOSE, AS YOU SAW EARLIER ON THE
DEFINITION, YOU KNOW, A VARIETY OF STRONG, HEALTHY, PROCEED — PRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS,
UNDERSTAND AND APPLY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WITHIN COMPLEX SCENARIOS.
NOT WHEN THE SKIES ARE CALM, BUT, OKAY, TENSION IS HIGH, YOU COULD JUST — YOU CAN CUT IT
THROUGH WITH A KNIFE, IF YOU WILL, YOU’VE HEARD THAT SAYING, IT’S VERY PALPABLE.
AND SO, YOU KNOW, THAT I THINK IS — AS TOUGH AS IT IS IN THOSE CHALLENGING ENVIRONMENTS,
TO REALLY STEP BACK AND DIAL IN IN TERMS OF WHAT’S GOING ON, BECAUSE THAT’S ALSO A WAY
OF MOVING FORWARD AND BREAKING THE ICE IN THAT TENSION THAT HAS BUILT UP, AND THAT IF
WE’RE IN A MEETING AND TENSIONS ARE HIGH, I CAN SAY, YOU KNOW, MELANIE, YOU SEEM A LITTLE
DISSATISFIED WITH HOW THINGS ARE GOING AND I’M SORT OF GETTING THAT, DO YOU WANT TO SHARE,
DID I GET THAT RIGHT.>>LET’S TAKE A STEP BACK AND SEE WHAT’S GOING
ON, TALK ABOUT WHAT’S GOING ON, YOU KNOW, SO YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF THE ENVIRONMENT AND
OF THE EMOTIONS THAT ARE GOING ON IN THE ROOM. I HAD THIS AWESOME EMPLOYEE ONCE NAMED NANCY,
AND SHE WAS VERY GOOD AT THAT, AT PERCEIVING WHAT WAS HAPPENING, AND SHE WOULD MANEUVER
PEOPLE AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE IN A WAY THAT WAS SO POSITIVE.
WE HAD A BIG EXERCISE ONE DAY, AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
WALKING ON A GYM FLOOR, THEY HAVE THOSE BIG THICK MATS, AND IT HAD BEEN ALL DAY, WE HAD
THE MATS SET UP AND WE HAD STATIONS AND WE WERE PRACTICING AN EMERGENCY WHERE PEOPLE
WOULD HAVE TO EVACUATE, AND SO IT HAD BEEN A LONG DAY, THERE HAD BEEN HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
THROUGH, AND THE TABLES GOT MOVED OUT AND ALL THAT WAS LEFT WERE THE MATS.
AND, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY WAS REALLY TIRED AND YOU REACHED DOWN AND IT WAS LIKE, I CAN’T
MOVE THE MAT, IT’S SO HEAVY. AND SHE PICKED UP ON THAT SO QUICKLY BECAUSE
SHE WAS SO GOOD AT PERCEIVING EMOTION. SO SHE JUST SAID, OKAY, EVERYBODY, IT’S A
RACE. HOW FAST, WHO IS GOING TO GET THERE FIRST,
TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL WHERE THESE NEED TO GO.
AND SHE JUST WENT, ONE, TWO, THREE AND EVERYBODY, THE MOOD SWITCHED IMMEDIATELY, AND EVERYBODY
GRABBED AHOLD OF THEM AND YOU HAD A SURGE OF ENERGY, AND YOU JUST RACED.
AND IT WAS DONE IN THREE MINUTES RATHER THAN DRAGGING AND PEOPLE COMPLAINING AND I DON’T
WANT TO DO THIS, I’M TIRED. SHE WAS ABLE TO USE HER EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE MOOD IMMEDIATELY CHANGED. AND I THINK THAT’S WHAT DAVE IS TALKING ABOUT,
WHEN YOU SENSE THAT, YOU KNOW, THERE’S STRESS IN THE ROOM, AND THAT’S USING THAT INFORMATION
INTELLIGENTLY TO RECOGNIZE, I NEED TO MAKE A CHANGE.
SO YOUR WAKE THEN BECOMES VERY POSITIVE AND WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT, LET’S TAKE A BREAK,
LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT SHE BROUGHT UP SO YOU ARE RECOGNIZING THE PERSON’S CONCERN ABOUT
IT. ONCE YOU GET THE ELEPHANT OUT ON THE TABLE,
YOU CAN TYPICALLY MOVE FORWARD IN A BETTER WAY.
>>I THINK THE TWO WORDS THAT JUMP OFF OF THE SLIDE ARE PRACTICE AND REFLECT.
THOSE ARE REALLY THE BUMPER STICKER WORDS FOR ME.
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU GO TO TAKE AN EXCEL CLASS ON MONDAY AND YOU’RE WORKING A SPREADSHEET
PROFICIENTLY ON TUESDAY. THIS IS JUST A LIFELONG CONTINUAL JOURNEY.
AND I CAN’T SPEAK FOR CATHY, BUT, YOU KNOW, I’VE BEEN STUDYING EI FOR A LONG TIME, AND
I STILL HAVE A WAYS TO GO. I THINK THERE’S ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY TO CONTINUE
TO HONE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND, REALLY, YOU KNOW, A BENEFIT IS, IT SHOWCASES YOURSELF
AS A MATURE PROFESSIONAL IN THE WORKPLACE. AND THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO KNOW ABOUT,
ESPECIALLY AS YOU WANT TO PROGRESS IN YOUR CAREER.
WHO ARE THOSE MATURE PROFESSIONALS WHO CAN WEATHER THE STORMS AND THE WEATHERING THE
STORM IS NOT BECAUSE THEY CAN USE EXCEL BETTER THAN THE NEXT PERSON; THE WEATHERING THE STORM
IS HOW CAN YOU GALVANIZE PEOPLE IN A PRODUCTIVE AND POSITIVE WAY TO ACHIEVE THE MISSION, TO
GET THE RESULTS THAT YOU NEED DONE, BECAUSE THE MORE COMPLEX AND CHALLENGING, THE MORE
THINGS LIKE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ARE GOING TO MATTER.
>>RIGHT. WELL, YOU KNOW, AGAIN, AS I THINK ABOUT — THINK
THROUGH ALL THIS, WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT IS REALLY MATURE INDIVIDUALS, YOU KNOW, A
COMPLEX ENVIRONMENT, THERE’S A LOT OF FACTORS THAT GO IN HERE.
I’VE BEEN AT MEETINGS, I’M SURE YOU HAVE, WHERE PEOPLE PULL AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND
NO ONE ASKS, HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU SEEM TO — SOMETHING HAPPENED.
AND I’VE ALSO BEEN AT MEETINGS WHERE SOMEONE PULLS AWAY FROM THE TABLE, SOMEONE DOES SAY,
YOU KNOW, WHY IS IT THAT YOU’RE NOT PART OF THIS?
AND THEN THAT PERSON DOESN’T ADD ANYTHING. SO, YOU KNOW, YOU’RE SORT OF TALKING ABOUT
A LOT OF — THERE’S A LOT OF COMPLEXITY IN HERE, AND I THINK THAT ONE OF THE KEY POINTS
PROBABLY, AND I’M SURE YOU’RE GOING TO GET TO IT, IS THE FACT THAT THIS TAKES A LOT OF
THINKING. THERE’S A LOT OF THINKING.
AND IN THE WORKPLACE, SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T TAKE TIME TO DO ALL THAT THINKING BECAUSE
YOU’RE SO BUSY WITH THE DOING THAT THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ALL OF THIS.
THIS IS A VERY DISCIPLINED APPROACH TO THINKING THROUGH HOW DO I OPERATE IN A COMPLEX DYNAMIC
ENVIRONMENT.>>ABSOLUTELY.
YOU KNOW, THE TERM EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS VERY PURPOSEFUL BECAUSE YOU USE YOUR COGNITIVE
THINKING AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU’RE USING THOSE EMOTIONAL REFLEXES.
AND SO IT IS THE COMBINATION AND THE BALANCE THAT ACTUALLY ALSO CREATE YOUR MOTIVATION
AND DRIVE. SO — AND AS YOU PRACTICE THAT MORE, AND YOU
MAKE THOSE STRONGER CONNECTIONS IN YOUR BRAIN, THE MORE REFLEXIVE AND AUTOMATIC AND HABITUAL
IT BECOMES TO BE ABLE TO USE YOUR EMOTIONS INTELLIGENTLY.
>>RIGHT.>>SO, THAT IS THE END OF THE SLIDE DECK.
>>OKAY.>>AND YOU SEE MY CONTACT INFORMATION THERE
IF THERE’S ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FOLLOW UP AND DISCUSS MORE ABOUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
AFTER THE WEBINAR, I’D BE HAPPY TO DO SO. AND WE DON’T HAVE CATHY’S E-MAIL ON HERE,
BUT I’M SURE WE CAN FIND A WAY TO SHARE THAT AS WELL.
>>ABSOLUTELY. SO LET’S DO THIS.
WE PROBABLY JUST HAVE ANOTHER MINUTE OR TWO. LET’S — I ALWAYS LIKE TO LEAVE THE AUDIENCE
WITH LIKE THREE KEY POINTS THAT I UNDERSTAND YOU CAN’T LEARN THIS ON MONDAY AND DO IT ON
TUESDAY, BUT THERE ARE A COUPLE OF KEY POINTS HERE.
SO IF WE COULD LEAVE THE AUDIENCE WITH THREE KEY POINTS HERE SO THAT THEY CAN WALK AWAY
FROM THIS WEBINAR AND DO SOMETHING AT THEIR DESK TODAY, WHAT WOULD THOSE BE?
>>I LIKE THE ABILITY MODEL THAT PETER SALOVE AND JOHN MAYER CREATED BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU
STEPS TO THINK THROUGH WHEN YOU TRY TO BECOME MORE FAMILIAR WITH EI AND HOW IT WORKS.
THE FOUR BRANCHES ARE PERCEIVE THE EMOTION, FIGURE OUT FIRST WHAT IT IS THAT YOU’RE FEELING
OR YOU BELIEVE THE OTHER PERSON IS FEELING, THE NEXT TWO ARE USE AND UNDERSTAND.
AND THEY’RE SORT OF INTERCHANGEABLE DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION.
SO YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING THAT’S CAUSED THE EMOTION.
AGAIN, IT’S — EMOTION IS INFORMATION. AND EVEN ANGER IS INFORMATION.
ANGER DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A BAD THING. ANGER IS WHAT GIVES US DRIVE TO ACT, TO MAKE
US DO SOMETHING, TO MAKE A CHANGE. SO IT IS IN HOW YOU USE THAT ANGER, WHETHER
YOU USE IT TO START A FUND DRIVE RATHER THAN PUNCHING SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW, IT’S IMPORTANT
INFORMATION TO HAVE AND TO RECOGNIZE THAT I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS INFORMATION.
SO PERCEIVE, USE, UNDERSTAND, AND THEN MANAGE IS THE LAST ONE.
AGAIN, MANAGING THAT EMOTION, MY EMPLOYEE NANCY WHO SHE WAS SO GOOD AT MANAGING EMOTION,
AT BRINGING PEOPLE AROUND, IT’S ALL ABOUT INFLUENCE, MANAGING YOUR EMOTION IS ALL ABOUT
USING YOUR INFLUENCE. IN A POSITIVE WAY IN ORDER TO MAKE THE ACTIONS
THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN. AND THAT’S WHAT LEADERSHIP IS ALL ABOUT.
LEADERSHIP IS INFLUENCING OTHERS TO GET THE THINGS DONE THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE HAPPEN.
SO IT GOES RIGHT BACK TO THE EI AND MANAGING THE EMOTION TO GET PEOPLE TO MOVE AND ACT.
>>AND AS A COMPLEMENT TO WHAT CATHY SAID, I WOULD OFFER — IT STARTS WITH SELF-AWARENESS,
KNOWING WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOURSELF, IDENTIFYING AND LABELING THE EMOTION WHICH GETS TO MY
SECOND POINT, IS, INHERENT IN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS, YOU HAVE TO THINK THROUGH IT.
YOU HAVE TO REFLECT ON, WHAT AM I GOING THROUGH OR, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE JOURNAL AT THE
END OF THE DAY OR WHATEVER OR WHILE THEY’RE MEDITATING ABOUT HOW DID THINGS GO, YOU KNOW,
I THINK TAPPING INTO THE EMOTIONS AND INCLUDING THAT AS PART OF WHATEVER REFLECTIVE KIND OF
ACTIVITY YOU GO THROUGH, IS VERY HELPFUL. AND ALSO, AGAIN, THERE’S — THERE ARE A NUMBER
OF ASSESSMENTS THAT YOU CAN DO THAT YOU SORT OF TAKE AND SEE, OKAY, WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS
AND OPPORTUNITIES IN TERMS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. AND EVEN WITHOUT AN ASSESSMENT, ASKING FOR
PEER FEEDBACK OR MENTORING OR SOMEONE LIKE THAT WHO, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE
ORGANIZATION, NO MATTER HOW CHALLENGING IT GETS, THEY JUST SEEM TO BE EVEN KEELED, THEY
CAN GALLON — GALVANIZE, AND CHANCES ARE THEY HAVE VERY STRONG MOMENT.
SHADOWING PEOPLE AND LEARNING FROM THEM, LEARNING FROM OTHERS AND MODELING EI IS ANOTHER TAKE-AWAY
THAT I THINK WOULD BE HELPFUL.>>GREAT.
AND THOSE ARE REALLY KIND OF THE THREE THINGS THAT I GOT OUT OF IT, TOO, IS BEING AWARE
OF WHAT YOUR EMOTIONS ARE, WHICH I THINK IS KEY, HARNESSING THEM, HOWEVER YOU’RE GOING
TO HARNESS THEM TO DO SOMETHING POSITIVE, AND THEN MANAGING THEM.
WHICH I THINK ARE REALLY KIND OF THE KEY IDEAS. SO WITH THAT, LET ME THANK YOU, DAVE, FOR
BEING OUR GUEST SPEAKER TODAY. I APPRECIATE IT.
I THINK WE LEARNED A LOT. CATHY, THANK YOU FOR BEING ON OUR PANEL.
>>THANK YOU.>>AND TO OUR INTERNET AUDIENCE, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH FOR BEING WITH US. AND PLEASE JOIN US AGAIN NEXT MONTH FOR THE
HUD OCIO LEARNING SESSION, AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY CAPTION ASSOCIATES, LLC WWW.CAPTIONASSOCIATES.COM

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