CONFIDENCE INCREASING MEDICATION


are you overweight? unemployed? hopelessly
single? a directionless drain on society? and are you looking for a change?
consider the new miracle drug Confidone, the confidence increasing prescription.
Confidone increases confidence by attacking the part of the brain that
controls critical thinking while also shedding the brain of unwanted gray
matter. I used to have trouble approaching beautiful women at bars. my
friends suggested getting a job or going to the gym but Confidone taught me that
no girl is out of my league as long as I have confidence. got to go, looks like some
foxy ladies just walked in. wish me luck. I used to never speak during class
discussions because I didn’t do the assigned reading but with Confidone it
doesn’t matter whether or not I know what I’m talking about, I have the
confidence to make everyone listen to my opinions. confidence is key to achieving in the
workplace and thanks to Confidone my professional relationships have
flourished. excuse me sir but the auditor is calling again, did you send him the
tax forms? no. uh okay should I tell him you’ll send them today? no. he seems
pretty insistent. leave now. but what should I– I said leave. leave now.
yes sir. sorry sir. thanks Confidone. remember that self-improvement might be
temporary but confidence is forever. ask your doctor about Confidone today.
side effects include jaundice, loss of motor skills, liver disease, whiskey-dick, and increased social media presence. should not be used while drinking and
ready

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