COMPLEX PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

COMPLEX PTSD  (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Hey everybody! Today I am putting out a video of something that you have asked me a lot about. Complex PTSD What is it? Does it exist? What do we do if we have it? How is it different that PTSD? There’s so many questions I’m going to answer for you right now. (Intro Music) So like I said, today I’m going to talk with you about complex PTSD, and I didn’t know anything about this. Many of you have asked about it. “Kati I had a friend who had this.” or “My doctor talked about this. What is this? I haven’t heard of it. Does it exist?” And I didn’t know. That’s what I love about our community. You all tell me things that are happening, things you’re hearing about, and then I’m forced to research it. Figure it out. So I have all my notes, have my DSM, we’re gonna talk about this. We’re gonna learn together, because I didn’t know that complex PTSD was something that exists. And for the true fact of diagnostic purposes, now the company, I shouldn’t even say company, but that’s what it is. It’s the American Psychiatric Association or the APA. Those are the people who put out the DSM. They create it. They decide what goes in and what doesn’t. And complex PTSD was something that was proposed. That they tried to get into the DSM. And the APA was like “no, PTSD is enough.” We have severe, mild, moderate. We feel that covers it. I understand. They have to make choices. They only add things so often. I mean if you saw the first DSM it was like 10 pages long. And now we have this ginormous book of different diagnosis and different diagnostic criteria. So I hear them. However, after reading about complex PTSD I have to politely disagree with them. I think the APA maybe acted too quickly, didn’t really think about it. Because the most common situation that leads to complex PTSD is coming back from war. And if we as clinicians aren’t ready and able and educated enough to help them manage their complex PTSD, then we’re doing them a huge disservice. And they just put their lives at risk for us, and that just really gets me. So what is complex PTSD? Now I got a lot of my information, because like I said it’s not something that’s in the DSM. I can’t pull up things within the DSM about how it happens, when it occurs, what causes it, you know, how does it run its course I can’t find that in here. I can only find information about PTSD itself, post traumatic stress disorder. So I got information from the VA and the National Center for PTSD, and those are the people who lobbied to the APA to get it into this new DSM. So it’s a proposed disorder, because many people feel that PTSD itself does not fully capture the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged and repeated trauma. I want to highlight that: prolonged and repeated trauma. Now people that get PTSD could have just had, I don’t mean just had, but could have had one traumatic event that really was terrible. It was scary. They felt helpless. They worried that their life was in danger. Instead of that anxiety feeling, that feeling of worry and stress that comes after a scary situation instead of it getting better slowly, like we start coming back to our regular self. We don’t have flashbacks as often, but PTSD just gets worse. The people who have complex PTSD, wow say that 10 times fast, have had repeated traumas. Also it’s believed that cases that involve repeated traumas needed special treatment considerations. That’s what they lobbied to the APA for. They feel it needs to be treated differently. Now the biggest concern is our vets, like I said, because of the traumatic nature of their service The fact that they feel scared and potentially helpless almost every day. They don’t know if they can get bombed while they’re sleeping at night. Every time they go out and leave their camp, they’re in another risky situation where they could lose their lives. And a lot of that can feel really helpless. They watch people around them die. This happens over and over and over. It’s repeated trauma. You with me? So other examples, other than vets, because this can happen to a lot of people. Concentration camps, prostitution brothels, long term domestic violence victims, or child physical or sexual abuse. that’s repeated. I know many of you have reached out to me and said, you know “I was sexually abused or physically abused by a family friend or parent from the ages of 6 to 12.” Or some huge chunk of time. That’s repeated trauma. And the VA and the National Center for PTSD think that should be called complex PTSD, so I have a video about PTSD. You can check that out too. I encourage all of you to check that out, so that you understand PTSD as a whole since this video is kind of building on that. How is it different from PTSD? Now this was really interesting to me, because if we’re in repeated trauma versus maybe one situation How does our mind process it differently? Why is it different? Why do we need a new diagnosis? I’m not one for a lot of diagnosis, but I have to say the VA really, they changed my thoughts about it. Now the first is emotion regulation. Many of you have heard me talk about this in my DBT videos. When I talk about better managing maybe our borderline tendencies where we feel like our emotions just overwhelm us. So people with complex PTSD may feel extremely overwhelmed with emotions all of a sudden, really quickly Like boom! All of a sudden they’re very angry and aggressive. I know a lot of the people on the VA website had talked about it and said like “yeah, my husband used to go off the handle, be crying, and then he’s screaming. He couldn’t regulate his emotion.” The second is consciousness. They completely black out or forget the traumatic events. And then many times it will switch over and then they’ll be reliving them as if they’re right back there. A lot of people dissociate, which is also a component of regular PTSD. But the complete blackouts, the forgetting, isn’t as common. Another is self perception. They’ll feel hopeless. They’re embarrassed. They have so much shame about the fact that they’re struggling. That they feel like they can’t incorporate back into life. They don’t know how to have relationships, communicate with people, connect with people. And that to me is so hard. Because they talk about the stigma. Feeling different from everyone else. And when we talk about people who had repeated trauma my heart goes out to those people. I just like, ahhhh, I feel for them. It’s terrible. And then the feeling that even after it stopped. So the trauma stopped, then they still feel like they can’t connect. They’re not part of, they’re not the same as other people. They’re embarrassed. They’re shame filled because of what happened to them, which is something that they had no control over. Something they were completely helpless to. Now the fourth, and there’s just a couple more. There’s only six. Is distorted perceptions of the perpetrator or preoccupation with revenge. A lot of people will either, and they talk about two different instances, where someone can either be like “but it wasn’t their fault. They didn’t mean it.” People who had been repeatedly physically or sexually abused are like but like “they were confused” or let’s say a cousin or a family friend or they’re like “but they’re family and I know they didn’t mean to.” They try to cover it up or pretend that it wasn’t a big deal or that they didn’t know any better. And then there’s the reverse where people are preoccupied with revenge. They’re like ‘that motherfucker is gonna get it.’ They get really focused on that, and their whole life revolves around revenge. That can be really hard for the other people in relationships with them, to deal with. The other, the fifth is, like I was just talking about relationships with others. They isolate. They don’t trust people very easily. As so you can see how maybe that makes maybe marriages really difficult. Someone comes back from war and they’re distrustful of you and they isolate. They don’t want to see family or friends. They don’t want to go out. They want to stay at home. They want to just do their thing. Leave me alone. It can be really hard. And the last is one’s system of meanings; they have a loss of sustaining faith or sense of hopelessness and despair. So this was the hardest for me to read about, because it’s almost like the core of who they are, what the meaning in life is, what the meaning of themselves is was lost. And that is just so hard to hear that people are feeling that way. That people are going through that. And we’re not even recognizing this as a diagnosis. Bleh! Makes me feel sick. So, why does this happen? What is this? What do we do? What’s the treatment like? It’s pretty much the same as PTSD where we do a lot of reintegration into situations that may be triggering. That may trigger any kind of flashback or dissociation. We ground ourselves. It’s a progressive treatment. We do it little by little. We don’t just throw you in there in the deep end and be like fix this, figure it out. I don’t care if you’re having a panic attack, you’re freaking out, we’re just gonna try and do this. It’s a slow progressive therapy. But the difference with complex is that they work a lot on interpersonal difficulties. So all of those things: the distrust, the focus potentially on revenge, the pretending the perpetrator didn’t really mean to, or their struggle with emotion regulation and lashing out, being really scary potentially to the people in their life We work a lot on that. And that’s how the treatment differs. There’s a lot of relational work. There’s a lot of couples or family work that’s integrated into this, because when someone has repeated trauma it can be really hard for them to move past it. Really hard to communicate And to completely trust and love and get back into the relationships they had before the trauma started happening. And so I want you all to consider those around you who may have had repeated trauma Maybe you could share this video with them Maybe you could work and seek to understand. Refer them to the VA or other facilities that can offer help. Refer them to therapists in the area. Be there to listen and seek to understand, because a lot of it, sounds like they just feel shame filled. They don’t know what to do. They’re embarrassed of their situation. They don’t know how to reintegrate back into life after these terrible things have happened to them, so we as a community can help better support these people. We can share this video. We can like this video. We can talk about complex PTSD and how different it is from regular PTSD, because it’s important for people to feel understood. That’s the whole reason I love our community is because we’re all in this together. Right? We’re working together. Everyone’s situation is a little bit different, but we’re all working to share and shed light on the information that’s important about mental health. To break through the stigma, so people don’t feel so shame filled and hide in the shadows isolating. They know they can they can speak up. They can talk about it, and we’re here to listen. And we’re here to better understand their situation, so please share. Please comment. Please give it a thumbs up! Let people know that this stuff is important. We need to talk about it, because people are struggling and we know the more support and information we can put out there the better.

71 Replies to “COMPLEX PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)”

  1. Childhood abuse is the "Classic Complex Trauma" We had zero pre trauma us. I was marinated in that daily, from day one and well beyond his death. Children do not have any skills to understand whats happening.

  2. THANK you for talking about this. My therapist and I have been talking about ptsd and c ptsd. Sadly it’s not viewed as a “real mental disorder” but reliving a t (small t) trauma, can be worse is some instances. Not only do you experience the trauma OVER and OVER, but you can have more and more triggers. Confusing shit man…

  3. Can one have this disorder without having gone to war? I know this is a very simplistic question:… but i am being basic for a reason. These videos are very helpful. Thank you

  4. I was wounded in Iraq after my vehicle was hit directly underneath by daisy-chained IEDs that blew simultaneously. I was wounded with two of my soldiers and a civilian. I spent two years in Walter Reed Army Medical Center trying to rebuild my body but neglected the mind trauma. We all did. I believe that is why there were so many suicides during that period of time. Now, 15 years later, my body is scarred from stomache to toes, my left leg is amputated above the knee and my right leg is missing over 60% muscular tissue. I suffer from CPTSD, with body dysmorphia and extreme dissociative episodes. I have actively participated in several therapy programs (CBT, Prolonged Exposure, and individual/group therapy) and try to adopt the learned skills into my daily life. The problem is, these feelings of extreme guilt, suicidal ideation, deep depression, and loss of personal identity & social isolation. I don't trust people. When I am around people in a social environment I feel cut off from any sense of normalicy. Even when people come to my house, I find it hard to maintain a conversation with them. It is embarrassing and wholly disruptive to any chance of a normal life. I try to explain how I feel but saying that I think my brain is broken. Like there was a switch that got cut off and now my old way of behaving and thinking are gone. I just want to fix that in me. I feel hopeless in this life I lead. I don't know if I will ever feel normal again. I am married but have my own bedroom- both because I punch and kick and thrash about while having my many night terrors, and because I was keeping my wife awake because I suffer from terrible insomnia. So I am even cut off from the love of my life! I don't want to be this way. I have seriously thought how happy I would be if I didn't wake up one day. Is there treatment for so much mental illness?? I don't want to keep being the person I am. But when I have done all the therapy, taken all the drugs, follow my doctors advice…it's all feels like empty acts and I'm not even going through the motions properly. What hope is there for someone in my place? 15 years like this without change is enough to drive anyone to extremes. I just want this to end. Thank you, Dr. Morton for discussing this. I do find comfort in the way you describe the mental anguish I find myself in. I will continue to follow your channel in the Hope's that you will one day make an announcement about a radical new therapy model. Until then, I wait alone in this world.

  5. Today I've seen like between 10 and 15 of her videos at 1.5 speed for a test I have tomorrow and also I'm under the effect of coffee (which technically I shouldn't be drinking) and I think I'm going to explode.

  6. I got diagnosed with bpd and as I went through dbt I started to open up about things and got diagnosed with this. Thankyou for making this video

  7. I have PTSD , anxiety, get that way i get extremely overwhelmed all of the sudeen in social situations my mother was an alcoholic ..ontop of that i was in another emotional abusive intimate relationship ,, i was constantly afraid of being abandoned that it consumes me

  8. I have Cptsd I m going back to the VA to see if they can help. I have this from being a Fireman ( blowed up on a fireworks barge 1995, my left arm got ripped off and but back on) Meds only temp help. You are on to something here and you hit home with me. I have a rough Journey to heel this Cptsd 🙏 to us all and concealers like you.

  9. My dad was a gang investigator and narcotic investigator and was in the S.W.A.T so it is not just when you were in a war

  10. I just wanted to say that because he had PTSD and I clicked on this vid to learn more about it because he didn’t really talk about it

  11. I’m sorry, but you have it wrong. PTSD is caused by experiencing a traumatic event or a number of events and is usually associated with veterans but anyone can experience one or more traumatic events.

    Complex-PTSD is experiencing trauma over a considerable length of time from which there is no apparent escape, such as growing up with domestic violence or being in a hostage situation. When childhood trauma is inescapable, during the developmental years, brain damage may happen and that is permanent.

    With PTSD there usually was time before the trauma. With C-PTSD there often was NO time before the trauma (an exception being, C-PTSD from being in a domestic violent marriage for a considerable period of time).

    And it is possible to have both. Both a traumatic and violent upbringing or marriage AND traumatic EVENTS such as a car crash or witnessing a death, etc

    What’s the difference between PTSD and C-PTSD?
    * PTSD is a mental health issue that can occur in people who have lived through a specific traumatic event or series of events that have a definitive time limit, or in many cases, only happen once.
    * C-PTSD, is the result of prolonged exposure to trauma over long periods of time, often during childhood.

  12. I can see why so many women with BPD, and even vulnerable/covert narcissism get misdiagnosed with CPTSD.
    From your description the presentation is all but identical, save the cause. And if they are clued up on CPTSD they wouldn't be able to help but exploit this similarity.

  13. So liiiiike living with a roommate who constantly self harms and attempts suicide, and for a year I never know what I'm going to come home to? Yeah I'd say that qualifies. It's been 10 years and I can still feel every feeling I felt. Dissociation started occuring 1 year after and I was told I was being a brat because it's not like I was in a war or anything..Lets maybe try to get rid of that extraordinarily unhelpful stereotype. Good times.

  14. I have CPTSD. I went to a therapist for EMDR therapy. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but it paid off huge! I would recommend that to anyone with CPTSD, its worth the work and every penny you pay.

  15. With my cptsd.. Its a challenge when it comes to dating.. I dont know the social cues and i aways have bad trust issues.. But even if its small social things were peope without this diagnosis knows.. I have no idea.. An di just stand there like a moron.. Uper frustraiting.. And I cant sseem to keep a relationship or date ayone laast longer from 6 to 7 months

  16. Kati! I like you but you are clearly NOT an expert on this! It comes from attachment trauma mostly (childhood abuse includes that too)…I am sorry but I ma disappointed with this video 🙁

  17. What about in a relationship with someone you’re really close to.. when you fight or have times of anger with someone and it destroys you so you immediately want to fix it so the other person isn’t sad or angry at you anymore and so you can eliminate those intense feelings you’re having.. is that more cptsd. I can’t have emotionally involved relationships with people I love like a girlfriend or a close friend because I can’t stand to feel how depressed I get when I’m in a fight with someone and we both part ways for say an hour or whatever time it is.. that time away kills me because I know how bad they feel and it destroys me. I have to immediately just fix it and apologize To feel normal again. I am diagnosedwith cptsd

  18. I have CPTSD why because of prolonged and repeated trauma that I was forced into because it began as a child and I was not in control of my environment .
    I was married when I was still a teenager why because I had to get away from my parents . They were the main source of my problems and stood in the way of me doing something about it.
    The CPTSD that I am afflicted with is the result of repeated and prolonged trauma .
    What that means to me is that I have no memory of the causes of trauma that have manifested in my nervous system reptilian brain there is no logic its fight or flight. I was told that it is as if my nervous system took a picture of the physical trauma that is connected to no memory .
    When you have PTSD you know what you are talking about. You know why and what the trauma is about.
    I can never do that because they tell me that my childhood was in the top 10% of most horrific childhoods . They tell me that it is not possible to discuss specifically what this trauma is .
    The therapy that I was introduced to is a self regulating therapy .
    What I have to do is not think why I feel this way because it is not a possibility and to do so will hang on to the trauma that I can never solve.
    The self regulating therapy that I was introduced to allows me to go to a place of comfort and just let this run its course . I do not try and figure it out or it never leaves because you are hanging on to it .
    There is no thinking let it go and it will go and never come back.

    It is a no Brainer that the problem is complexed . You can not do the same therapy on a person who suffers PTSD because they remember why .
    You can do therapy for these people who tell you what is what. They just need to know how to get past it .
    I have many disabilities that are not obvious . This just makes the situation that much more complexed .

  19. Kati, I know this is an older video. I just wanted to mention to you that I think therapists like you can actually give APA feedback on the DSM and that feedback and influence the DMS6. I believe on their website they allow feedback from healthcare professionals. I would recommend you or anyone suffering to ask their therapist to contact APA and suggest that Complex PTSD be added with this symptoms criteria, etc. That might really help us. I also know there were other doctor's pushing for this that were part of the DSM5 process. Right now, I'm forgetting the name of the doctor I saw in a video mention this but maybe therapist like you can join forces so that patients like us can be better represented…

  20. Please educate me: what it mean when a person was physically, mentally sexually abused as child/young adult never thought about it 20years later realizes they feel alive most when certain things like this happens to them again and they begin crave it?

  21. I believe it should be included, I was sexually abused in childhood, raped as a teen then was in a relationship where I was beaten daily. These are three major events over the space of 10 years. Complex ptsd needs to be added to the book

  22. A neighbor told me something strange, she said after her abusive husband passed away, she had a complete breakdown. She had bottled up all the feelings associated with the abuse she was raising three daughters, and I would think that she would be relieved the abuse was over. In the end I figured she felt it was safe now to process those emotions.

  23. Hi! You recognised right. You've done a great job! In my area there is no hope to find someone who can listen. They can give options what to do, they can prescribe therapy but not lend a listening, I mmean truly listening ear to me. They make ore conceptions, cut through my perceptions not let openly talk. And also try to make me doubt myself. Not to mention some therapists are not even passionately working towards their "business" that they call psychology. But went to one with a trust that they're human being.

  24. The symptom of too much sympathy for my perps occurred when i did not realize what they did to me. Then when i realized that i was basically in a gulag in my childhood, then it turned into pure contempt. I am sublimating my desire for revenge (which is unlimited like the ocean and deep like the sky) by sending the perps little gifts-.. One is basically a dwarf, and i am very tall.. So i send him garden gnomes on all holiday occasions… He knows its me… Yet i clean all the gifts with ammonium so that there are no dna traces of me. Everytime i do it, i get part of my soul and agency back… My Traumatherapist makes sure i dont overdo it… That and social inclusion (oxitocin) is basically what makes me become me again…

  25. Iv been told by my therapist that generally complex PTSD is resulted from repeated abuse or traumas over years that are normallymore interpersonal, not normally war situations which results in ptsd yes , but I think you could have done some more research

  26. Could Cptsd be lots of different traumas throughout life? I was always told I had complex trauma but I never knew about Cptsd?

  27. My husband is a survivor of prolonged sexual abuse from childhood. It took 8 years of marriage for him to fully remember/ admit to the trauma.
    I find it interesting your video seems more focused on the combat veteran C-PSTD symptoms and you repeatedly describe "lashing out" in regulating emotion.
    It struck me while watching that the this symptom mirrors the trauma. Vets tend to lash out. My husband keeps his quite, in secret, behind a closed door as the trauma took place. What do you think?
    (P.S. my husband has been in treatment for about 6 years now. He's come so far. Anybody ready this struggling with trauma and excepting treatment I strongly encourage you to do so. It has not been an easy time. It's been very hard and he's had to have 2 hospital stays. But overall his quality of life IS EXISTENT and constantly improving. He has so many tools in his toolbox now that he never had before. He (and I along side him) have learned to recognize and manage triggers. He has fewer and fewer episodes and when they do hit him they are not nearly as prolonged, damaging, and snowballed as before. Don't give up. There is always hope. )

  28. I think I am having this, Last July I had an Endocarditis and needed Open Heart Surgery, they took my infected Heart valve out and put a mechanical valve in. Now I live in fear this infection comes back, I have panikattacks, at the same time I feel guilty for not being able to go back to work. And I feel completley helpless and life itself has no sense for me anymore. I dont know what to do

  29. Trauma is anything… Even having a nightmare can make you have a trauma. I know bc I have trauma over a class at college, failing over and over that same class. And the feeling of getting kiched out of college for 3 years. Passing that class felt like getting free from a perpetrator. And yet Having flashbacks for unworthy and failure are still there after a year. People laugh at it and don't take it seriously. But it is a trauma. The feeling g is still there.

  30. Thaankyou so much for making this video, as someone who was diagnosed with PTSD at a young age, then I was diagnosed with BPD at 15/16, and then 4/5 years later was told no it's not BPD, it's cptsd! Thankyou for enlightening us and sharing more information when there isn't much.

  31. Hi I have suffered from being jealous and envious around the women my age. And I stopped going to social events where I felt small and like a child around them. I realised I have panic attacks, nightmares, bad dreams and feel sweaty and hyperventilating and flashbacks. When I was around them. As I was mollicoddled by my family as a child. And they weren't. Now in my adulthood I can't stop reliving my childhood as I was mollicoddled and my family didn't have any belief that I can do anything and they use to call me horrible names associated with my health. And my family say I can't do things for myself. And I avoid places and the women my age that bring on memories and flashbacks and nightmares and trembling. And my family didn't let me grow up. And every time I go to a social event where the women my age are I end up having a panic attack at nights after the event when I am a sleep. And I isolate myself to.
    The Women my age ( Because they were
    growing up with me at the time and I feel like a child around them and still do )

    2. Seeing photos of when I was a child and my teenage years.

    3. Talking about my childhood my teenage years.

    4. Remembering my childhood and teenage years.

    5. Talking about my life.

    6. Seeing my mum treating me differently without her noticing it.
    ( eventhough she was protecting me )

    7. Everytime I want to do something my mum use to put me down by saying no you can't because you're

    8. My mum controlled me and my money

  32. I suffered childhood abuse i have ptsd because of what happened to me as a boy im 56 years old i still suffer from ptsd iv tryed to kill my self twice im on tablets for the rest of my life i g zet angree sometimes . The Leicestershire countryside in ENGLAND yours ziggy marley fro

  33. Hi I have suffered from being jealous and envious around the women my age. And I stopped going to social events where I felt small and like a child around them. I realised I have panic attacks, nightmares, bad dreams and feel sweaty and hyperventilating and flashbacks. When I was around them. As I was mollicoddled by my family as a child. And they weren't. Now in my adulthood I can't stop reliving my childhood as I was mollicoddled and my family didn't have any belief that I can do anything and they use to call me horrible names associated with my health. And my family say I can't do things for myself. And I avoid places and the women my age that bring on memories and flashbacks and nightmares and trembling. And my family didn't let me grow up. And every time I go to a social event where the women my age are I end up having a panic attack at nights after the event when I am a sleep. And I isolate myself to.
    The Women my age ( Because they were
    growing up with me at the time and I feel like a child around them and still do )

    2. Seeing photos of when I was a child and my teenage years.

    3. Talking about my childhood my teenage years.

    4. Remembering my childhood and teenage years.

    5. Talking about my life.

    6. Seeing my mum treating me differently without her noticing it.
    ( eventhough she was protecting me )

    7. Everytime I want to do something my mum use to put me down by saying no you can't because you need help and they don't. And that made me small.

    8. My mum controlled me and my money

    9. I never got a say in my decisions

  34. hi, you probably wont see this message but i had a question, so i was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2, then all of a sudden i started having psychosis, i thought it was the new med she put me on because that was the only change and it was an anitdepressant so i thought it made me go crazy, but im now off it and im still experiencing them here and there. i also never been manic so im not bipolar 1. but each of my psychosis episodes have the same physical side effects that i get when my ptsd is triggered. i was told my symptoms are somatic memories because i literally feel like my body is going through being drowned again…. so i did some research and found there has been recent research on the idea of a new diagnosis for ptsd called ptsd with psychotic features? do you know anything about this?…

  35. I have CPTSD and I’m really disappointed that you focused on war trauma and physical abuse. Mental/emotional abuse and neglect can cause CPTSD as well.

  36. I am feeling so terrible about it. Not any therapy helped me. I've been thrue a lot. Now I'm living very isolated because of the shame and fear. Everday is like surviving this hell.

  37. Complex PTSD isnt just about veterans/First responders, how about those of us whose entire childhood was one of trauma, there is no "Pre-Trauma" us. We had no example of how to live, to be, to love ourselves and others.

  38. I was in a long term narc (emotional/psychological) abusive relationship (over 20 years) and I suffer from CPTSD. Even though I am out of the relationship, it somewhat feels like I still live like I'm still in it. If feels like my body and brain haven't adapted or adjusted to being safe and free. Many of my thoughts and behaviors are still very fear based. I feel like I have to be prepared to defend myself at any given moment or prepare and strategize about how to de-escalate, defuse any upcoming situations as if there is always a threat around the corner. Trusting people and their true intentions are very difficult esp after covert narc abuse since they portray a facade at first and to the outside world. I argue with people in my thoughts where there is no arguments. There is a lot of ruminations and regret that keep my mind over occupied. I really didn't see the abuse clearly until I was out. I didn't take care of or stick up for myself and often regret and grieve the many losses. It also feels like I feel everything (any stimuli from the world and people) super intensely, everything feel like a million little pin prickles on my body and mind. It is overwhelming and exhausting. I tend to isolate and have food issues. I know exercise, meditation and yoga help immensely, but I still have to work and face the real world. It makes me feel stuck or trapped. I can't believe there is no official diagnosis for this disorder. There needs to be.

  39. According to your 6 point I think I have complex PTSD … No what should I do to cure myself.. if u can suggest me any thing

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